So Bloomberg thinks that limiting the size of a sugary soda drink will help fight the obesity in New York City- NOT! Gubmint, at any level has got to stay out of our private lives. Telling us that sugary drink are bad, and smoking is bad- along with everything else they've thrown at us- Isn't that enough? Has the gubmint lied to you so many times that you ignore everything that they say?
People will buy two 16oz. drinks instead of one 32oz. drink. They will return to the fountain and refill their cups umpteen times and the 16oz. limit won't make a hill-of-beans' difference. Is Bloomberg out of touch? Probably no more than most politicians nowadays. Why does the gubmint believe that regulation is the solution to the world's problems. Whatever happened to EDUCATING the world so they can fix their own problems.
During a commercial airline flight an experienced Air Force pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms. When the baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing the infant as discreetly as possible.
The pilot pretended not to notice, and, upon disembarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related items.
When the young mother expressed her gratitude, the pilot responded, "Gosh, that's a good looking baby, and he sure was hungry!"
Somewhat embarrassed, the mother explained that her pediatrician said that the time spent on the breast would help alleviate the pressure in the baby's ears.
The Air Force pilot sadly shook his head, and in true pilot fashion exclaimed, "And all these years, I've been chewing gum."
A man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.
When the check-up was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me."
"Well, in plain English," the doctor said, "you're just lazy."
"Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."
Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 5-iron standing over a lifeless man.
The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?"
"Yes" says the woman.
"Did you hit him with that golf club?"
"Yes, yes, I did."
The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on face.
"How many times did you hit him?"
"I don't know, five, six, Maybe seven times . Just put me down for five."
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "OK. Right-click again. So you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write "click" and I wrote "click".
Units of measure
Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong
16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon
1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line
453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
1 million- microphones = 1 megaphone
2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
365.25 days = 1 unicycle
2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds
52 cards = 1 decacards
1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton
1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen
1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
10 rations = 1 decoration
100 rations = 1 C-ration
2 monograms = 1 diagram
4 nickels = 2 paradigms
2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV League
AND.......
100 Senators = Not 1 decision
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