Morris gets a new dog and can't wait to show him off to Shlomo. So when Shlomo arrives, Morris calls the dog into the house, bragging about how smart he is. The dog quickly comes running and stands looking up at his master, tail wagging furiously, mouth open, tongue hanging out, eyes bright with anticipation.
Morris points to the newspaper on the couch and commands, "FETCH!"
Immediately, the dog climbs onto the couch and sits down. His tail wagging stops and the doggie-smile disappears.
Looking balefully up at his master, the dog says in a whiny voice, "You think this is easy wagging my tail all the time? Oy vay. It hurts from so much wagging. And do you think that expensive organic dog food you're feeding me is tasty? You try it. It's dreck - much too salty. And you just don't seem to care about me anymore. You just push me out the door to take a leak three times a day. I can't remember the last time you took me out for a walk."
Shlomo is amazed. "What the hell is that? Your dog is sitting there talking."
"Oh, I know", explains Morris, "He's young and I'm still training him. He thought I said KVETCH."
After a life of sin Boudreaux dies and is sent to hell.One day the devil comes by and Boudreaux is in the corner smiling. The devil asks him...Why you smiling? It warm here,almost feel like springtime in Nawleens.Boudreaux replies. The devil turns up the HEAT!
Next day same thing. Why you smiling? It hot! Feel like Bourbon Street on the 4th of July!! The devil turned off all the Heat thinking he'd show him!!
Next day again... The devil said I don't think you understand.You died Boudreaux and this is Hell.Nothing here is good! Why you still smiling???
Boudreaux looks around @ the snow falling and the ice everywhere and says...DA SAINTS MUST BE GOIN TO DA SUPERBOWL BABY!!!!!!!!
