Not quite there yet- purtnear though...

So my day is going a bit better today, as management finally conceded that even progress in the wrong direction is still progress.  I have commitment this morning!


FLASH:  What happens if BP declares bankruptcy in Britain ?  How does that effect their liability ?  What can we do about it ?

Good closing today as Tori received her reward letter from Occidental, another substantial scholarship!

Ammar has spent many days crossing the desert without water. His camel dies of thirst. He's crawling through the sands, certain that he has breathed his last, when all of a sudden he sees an
object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him. He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks to be an old brief case. He opens it and out pops a genie....

But this is no ordinary genie. He is wearing a Senior Manager ID badge and dull grey suit.

"Well" says the genie. "You know how it works. You have three wishes."

"I'm not falling for this." says Ammar. "I'm not going to trust a Senior Manager."

"What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway!"

Ammar thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the  genie is right. "OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plentiful food and drink."

***POOF***

Ammar finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen. And he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

"OK, what's your second wish."

"My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams."

***POOF***

Ammar finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.

"OK, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!"

After thinking for a few minutes, Ammar says...

"I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me."

***POOF***

He is turned into a tampon.

The moral of the story?
If a Senior Manager offers you anything, there's going to be a string attached.

Bit O' Trivia

Ever wonder how many ACME products appeared in Road Runner cartoons ?  This is a list of ACME products  1949 - 1994. To be in this list, the product had to say ACME on it or be in a a package/box that said ACME on it.

Anvil     "Gee Whiz-z-z"    1956
Anvil     "Going Going Gosh"    1952
Aspirin   "Beep Beep"    1952
Axle Grease (guaranteed slippery)     "Zip N Snort"    1961
Balloon     "Fastest With The Mostest"    1960
Basket     "Fastest With The Mostest"    1960
Bat-man's Outfit     "Gee Whiz-z-z"    1956
Bed Springs     "Ready Woolen & Able"    1960
Bird Seed     "Hook, Line, & Stinker"    1958
Bird Seed     "Zipping Along"    1953
Bird Seed     "Stop! Look! and Hasten!"    1954
Bomb     "Fastest With The Mostest"    1960
Bumble Bees (One-fifth)     "Zoom and Bored"    1957
Cactus Costume     "Chariots of Fur"    1994
Christmas Package Machine     "Hopalong Casualty"    1960
Dehydrated Boulders(just add water)     "Scrambled Aches"    1957
Detonator     "Zipping Along"    1953
Do It Yourself  Tornado Kit     "Whoa Be Gone"    1958
Dog Sled     "Freeze Frame"    1979
Dynamite     "Ready Set Zoom"    1955
Earth Quake Pills     "Hopalong Casualty"    1960
Electronic Fan     "Going Going Gosh"    1952
Electronic Motor     "Fast & Furryous"    1949
Explosive Tennis Balls     "Soup or Sonic"    1980
Female Road Runner Costume     "Ready, Set, Zoom"    1953
Frisbee     "Soup or Sonic"    1980
Giant Mouse Trap     "Chariots of Fur"    1994
Giant Kite Kit     "Zipping Along"    1953
Giant Rubber Band     "Gee Whiz-z-z"    1956
Giant Rubber Band     "Whoa Be Gone"    1958
Glue     "Ready, Set, Zoom"    1953
Grease     "Guided Muscle"    1955
Handlebars     "Gee Whiz-z-z"    1956
High Speed Tonic(contains Vitamins R-P+M)     "Hip Hip Hurry"    1958

Instant Icicle Maker      "Zoom at the Top"    1962
Instant Road     "Chariots of Fur"    1994
Invisible Paint     "War And Pieces"    1964
Iron Bird Seed     "Beep Prepared"    1961
Iron Pellets     "Zip N Snort"    1961
Jet Motor     "Gee Whiz-z-z"    1956
Jet Propelled Pogo Stick     "Hot Rod & Reel"    1959
Jet Propelled Skis     "Freeze Frame"    1979
Jet Propelled Unicycle     "Hot Rod & Reel"    1959
Jim-Dandy Wagon     "Ready, Set, Zoom"    1953
Lightning Bolts(rubber gloves included)     "Chariots of Fur"    1994
Little Giant Do-It-Yourself Rocket-Sled Kit     "Beep Prepared"    1961
Little Giant Snow Cloud Feeder (makes instant snow)     "Freeze Frame"    1979
Matches     "Beep Beep"    1952
Mouse Snare     "Hip Hip Hurry"    1958
Nitroglycerin     "Beep Beep"    1952
Outboard Motor     "Ready, Set, Zoom"    1953
Road Runner Lasso     "Freeze Frame"    1979
Rocket Powered Roller Skates     "Beep Beep"    1952
Rocking Horse     "Freeze Frame"    1979
Roller Skates     "Ready Set Zoom"    1955
Roller Skis (no snow necessary)     "Lickety Splat"    1961
Speed Skates (ice)     "Freeze Frame"    1979
Street Cleaners Wagon     "Going Going Gosh"    1952
Super Outfit     "Fast & Furryous"    1949
TNT     "Beep Beep"    1952
Triple Strength Battleship Steel Armor Plate     "Gee Whiz-z-z"    1956
Triple Strength Fortified Leg Muscle Vitamins     "Stop! Look! and Hasten!"    1954
Wash Tub     "Ready Set Zoom"    1955
Weather Balloon     "Going Going Gosh"    1952
Trucking     "Whoa Be Gone"    1958
Water Pistol     "Whoa Be Gone"    1958

   

A young lady is applying for fall semester classes. At the end of the busy day she goes back to her dorm and enters in a huff of anger. "What's wrong, Shelly?" Asks her roommate. "Well, all the acting classes are filled. I couldn't even get into Mime class." "Why not?" "How should I know? You can't get a word out of those people!"