Last evening we had a lightning and thunder extravaganza right here in Goleta. Weather has not been normal for the area for most of the year. I wonder if the La Nina currents have had any effect ? Now, at 1:30 today, more thunder and lightning- and buckets of rain!
Well, back to the trip discussion. We visited the Magnolia Plantation while in Charleston. It was very interesting to find out the the mainstay profit engine for Charleston was rice! I really had no idea and would have guessed cotton. Slaves were particularly picked in Ghana that knew how to raise rice and the plantations sold pretty much all they could grow to Europe at a large profit.
The Magnolia lies on the Ashley river. Its flow is governed by the tides in the Atlantic. At high tide, the flow of the river was one direction with salty water, and at low tide just the opposite is true. The river flows the other way with fresh water. During the tide reversal, the water is brackish.
The plantation implemented aqueducts to transport fresh water to rice fields. When the Union troops were coming, the fields were flooded with salt water, and consequently they never would produce rice again.
The tour was well worth the fee. I'm glad we didn't sign up for it ahead of time, because we would have been on a bus from the city. We just drove there and proceeded at our own pace. That was much better and it was a short, but interesting, drive to the plantation.
12-Step Internet Recovery Program
1. I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my
newspaper like I used to, before the Internet.
2. I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.
3. I will get dressed before noon.
4. I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Internet.
5. I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Internet-deprived.
6. I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Internet.
7. I will read a book... if I still remember how.
8. I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Internet.
9. I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.
10. I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not.
11. I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Internet.
12. Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime... and the Internet will always be there tomorrow!
A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, “I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?”
“Why sure,”; said the manager, “we have something that works especially well for that.”
A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice.
“No, no! A little to the left,” said the other dumb blonde inside the car.
On a visit to Boston, I noticed a parking meter with a paper sack over it upon which was written: “Broken.”
A skeptical parking officer removed the bag, inserted a quarter in the meter and turned the dial. It worked perfectly. As the officer began to write a parking ticket, the car’s owner rushed out of a nearby building.
“What are you doing?” he yelled after a quick glance at the meter, “There’s plenty of time left!”
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."
Scrabble
PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER
DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS
DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM
SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: I'M A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER
