So the REAL question is, do you have to be crazy to be in a political office- or will that happen anyway once you get ther ??
Country romance!
And I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you. Your hair is like cornsilk, A-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's, And without all them fleas.
You move like the bass, Which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales, But I luv you anyway.
You're as graceful as okry, Jist a-dancin' in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as SunDrop, Right out of the can.
You have all yore teeth, For which I am proud;
I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions, when you shave yore armpits,
Well, I'm in hawg heaven! - I'm plumb outta my wits.
And speakin' of wits, You've got plenty fer shore.
'Cuz you married me, back in '74.
Still them fellers at work, They all want to know,
What I did to deserve such a purty, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape, Yo're there fer yore man,
To patch up life's troubles, And stick 'em in the can.
Yo're as strong as a four-wheeler, Racin' through the mud,
Yet fragile as that sanger, Named Naomi Judd.
Yo're as cute as a junebug, A-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like no far ant, Upon which I oft' tread.
Cut from the best pattern, Like a flannel shirt of plaid,
You sparked up my life, Like a Rattletrap shad.
When you hold me real tight, Like a padded gunrack,
My life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.
Yore complexion, it's perfection, Like the best vinyl sidin'.
Despite all the years, Yore age, it keeps hidin'.
And when you get old, Like a '57 Chevy,
Won't put you on blocks, And let grass grow up heavy.
Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie, With a RC cold drank,
We go together; Like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men, they buy chocolate, For Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart; It's romantic that way.
Some men git roses On that special day
From the cooler at Kroger; "That's impressive," I say.
Some men buy fine diamonds, From a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever," They explain, suave and couth.
But for this man, honey, These will not do.
For you are too special, You sweet thang you.
I got you a gift, Without taste nor odor,
Better than diamonds;
. . . It's a new trollin' motor!
A cultural comparison
Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad. Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.
Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.
Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.
Americans: Believe that people should look out for & take care of themselves.
Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job.
Aussies: Are extremely patriotic to their beer.
Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.
Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be bothered to sing them.
Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.
Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.
Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch four channels.
Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no-one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.
Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball, and basketball.
Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer, and rugby.
Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.
Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they play them in.
Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it "English".
Brits: Pronounce their words differently, but still call it "English".
Canadians: Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans.
Aussies: Add "G'day", "mate" and a heavy accent to everything they say in an attempt to be cool.
Brits: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.
Aussies: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.
Americans: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country.
Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country.
Americans: Drink weak, bad-tasting beer.
Canadians: Drink strong, bad-tasting beer.
Brits: Drink warm, bad-tasting beer.
Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it.
Americans: Seem to think that poverty & failure are morally suspect.
Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited things.
Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.
