Irish Compassion
A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.Three women, from England, Wales, and Ireland, were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.
The English woman said, “Have you ever had a hug?” The man said, “No,” so she gave him a hug and walked on.
The Welsh woman said, “Have you ever had a kiss?” The man said, “No,” so she gave him a kiss and walked on.
The Irish woman came to him and said, “ave ya ever been fooked, Laddie?” The man broke into a big smile and said, “no”. She said, “Aye—Ya will be when the tide comes in.”
Lewis Black on Donald Trump for President
"He'd make a terrible president," Black quipped on "The Daily Show" Tuesday night. "But we're done with presidents. We've tried every option and flavor. Stupid president, smart president, white president, black president. Doesn't work! What this country needs is a crazy third-world dictator, and Donald Trump has what it takes to be that."
It was a hot day... Helga hung out the wash to dry and then went downtown to pick up some dry cleaning.
"Gootness, it's hotter dan hell today," she mused to herself as she walked down Main Street .
She passed a tavern and thought , "Vy nodt?"
So, she walked in and took a seat at the bar.
The bartender walked up and asked her what she would like to drink.
"Ya know," Helga said in a timid voice.... "I don't usually go into bars, but today
I vill make an exception...It is zo hot, I tink I'll haf myself a cold beer"
"Anheuser Busch?" the bartender asked.
Helga blushed and replied, "Vell fine, tanks, und how's yur viener?"
