I never could understand why European countries give their workers a month to six weeks vacation but we are stuck with two weeks and it grows very slowly from there. Whatever happened to a work-life balance? Even when American workers GET a vacation, much of it is spent on a computer dealing with things back at the office. Why is it that it doesn't work here? In Europe everything shuts down for some long period of time. Here everything keeps marching along because we stagger our vacations instead of them all happening simultaneously. I guess I would like to experience the other way to see if I like it better, BUT on the surface it sounds just wonderful (I guess the English would call it a "proper holiday").
Redneckers...
Did you hear about the Tennessee redneck who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow? She can't touch it till she's fourteen.
What's the difference between a good ol' boy and a redneck? The good ol' boy raises livestock. The redneck gets emotionally involved.
What's the most popular pickup line in Tennessee? Nice tooth.
How do you know when you're staying in Tennessee? When you call the front desk and say "I've gotta leak in my sink" and the front desk says "go ahead".
How can you tell if a Tennessee redneck is married? There is dried chewing tobacco on both sides of his pickup truck.
Did you hear that they raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32? Seems that they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
What do they call reruns of Hee Haw in Tennessee? A documentary. What do they call them in Kentucky? Life styles of the rich and famous.
How many Tennessee rednecks does it take to eat a 'possum? Two. One to eat, and one to watch out for traffic.
Where was the toothbrush invented? Tennessee. If it had been invented anywhere else it would have
been called a teethbrush.
Did you hear about the $3,000,000.00 Tennessee state lottery? The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.
Did you hear that the Governor's mansion in Nashville burned down? Yep, pertinear took out the whole trailer park.
What's the best thing to come out of Tennessee? I-40
A Tennessee State Trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. He says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?"
The driver says, " 'bout what"?
A new law recently passed in Tennessee: When a couple gets divorced, they are still brother and sister.
What do you get when you have 32 Tennesseans in the same room? A full set of teeth.
Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator. Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive" The operator asked "Can you spell that for me?" There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, "How 'bout I drag her over to Oak St. and you pick her up there?"
As I was trying to pack for vacation, my 3-year-old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point, she said, "Mom, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers.
Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her fingers in my mouth and said, "Mommy's gonna eat your fingers!" pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again.
When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.
I said, "What's wrong honey?"
She replied "Mommy, where's my boogie?"
Ever wonder....
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
