Picoftheweek

Picoftheweek
Waaaaaaaay too many to count...

My Statement

"Let me emphatically say that I am not anti-Facebook (Fleecebook), anti-smart phone, anti-Microsoft, anti-Apple, anti-Google or anti-Internet. I do believe, though, that the consumer is being ripped off of his privacy, identity and purchase history. We are being herded into a Facebook corner where what we "Like" and where we go physically and on the net will be scrutinized and sold numerous times to actually corrode and erode our culture while tempting us only with convenience, high tech and flashing video screens. The unsuspecting consumers need to be aware..." - Gary Lapman

Quote of Note

“If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.”-W.C. Fields

"For the strength of the Wolf is in the Pack, and the strength of the Pack is in the Wolf." - Rudyard Kipling
"Common sense is not so common. " -Voltaire

“Fame is vapor, popularity an accident, riches take wing, but only character endures.” - Matthew McConaughey
"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him"

"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason" - Jerry Seinfeld

"Fleecebook is free, you (and your identity) is the product!" - Gary Lapman

"Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we're here for something else besides ourselves." - Eric Sevareid

"'Smart' phones are only smart for the cell phone providers!" - Gary Lapman

"On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." -- Charles Babbage (1791-1871)

“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.” -Albert Einstein

"Technology creates the illusion of companionship without the intimacy of friendship." - unknown

"No worry, there's an app for that..." - Gary Lapman

Saturday, May 3, 2014

The Final Solution

I recently read that most HR personnel are going to soon be out of a job, as the function is expected to be farmed out.  This, of course, is due to its lack of ROI and (IMHO) its obvious inefficacy.  Having dealt with them very recently, I can understand why businesses believe that they are unnecessary and a drag on overhead which produces no revenue.  I remember when customer service representatives went in the same direction.  Someone in corporate America decided that they could live with single sales rather than repeat business.  Supporting your customers turns out to be the most dependable way to keep them.  Sending support personnel to India hasn't helped anyone's bottom line- for long.
Under the category of "everyone needs to get their two cents commission"...:  There are employment listings that list listings of other employment listers, that list employment listings of other employment listers... and so on.  Once filling out an application that went four companies deep before getting to the actual company, where the job had already been filled!  I run into similar situations of website knots that appear Gordian in nature.


Testing for Development-Archetypes
Nobody can deny that the goal of software development is to produce the highest quality product possible. The only way to ensure that quality is through extensive testing.

Therefore, the following testing programs will be implemented as additions to the regularly scheduled regression testing:

Aggression Testing: Punching all developers with an open bug.

Confession Testing: All developers must admit what they either cannot do or have blown off.

Digression Testing: Developers and analysts must change the subject and ramble when the topic of bugs comes up.

Repression Testing: All developers must tell everyone who they secretly want to kill.

Oppression Testing: All developers will be required to work 24 hours a day until all bugs are fixed.

Depression Testing: All developers must explain which bugs make them sad, and why.

Succession Testing: Developers must be able to name the chain of command in the event that a PM dies.

Hessian Testing: QA will be redone by German mercenaries.

Joe Pescian Testing: All functions to be tested by a hot-headed Mafioso.

Please see your PM to get your testing schedule.




Overheard in a computer shop...
Customer: “I'd like a mouse mat, please.”

Salesperson: “Certainly sir, we've got a large variety.”

Customer: “But will they be compatible with my computer?”
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