Palin is Wrong!" - Huckabee

I have new respect for Huckabee as he exclaims that Palin is wrong! 

So pushed rehab employee (supposedly by Lindsay Lohan) has been fired for breaking the center's confidentiality policy.   Maybe this employee shouldn't have been working there at all.  The story has suggested that she might be exaggerating to get "paid off".  I'm sure we'll find out....

Looks like the TV game show Million Dollar Money Drop made a mistake last night and the contestants were due $800K.  We'll be watching to see if they remedy the situation.... 

It appears as the Palins are making out like bandits.  Why would they want to bother with the Presidency ?

 

 

You Know You're In Alaska When...-you know which leaves make good toilet paper.
-the mayor greets you on the street by your first name.
-there is only one shopping plaza in town.
-the municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
-the major parish fundraiser isn't bingo - its sausage making.
-you find -60c a might chilly.
-the trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.
-you attended a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewels and your Sorrels.
-you can play road hockey on ice skates.
-shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout.
-you know the 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.
-when it warms up to -35 degrees(Fahrenheit) and you go out in your shirt sleeves to wash you car.
-when you drive for a mile on square tires on a -65 morning before they eventually become normal.
-when you have to put your sun visor down at 3:00 a.m.
-all of your relatives refer to you as that crazy person that lives up there.
-your kids think that you have to get on a airplane to go on vacation.
-freezing, 32 degrees(Fahrenheit), is warm enough to wash your car.
-you only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
-you design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.
-the mosquitoes have landing lights.
-you have more miles on you snowblower than your car.
-you have 10 favorite recipes for moose meat.
-you've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
-driving is better in the winter because the potholes get filled with snow.
-you think sexy lingerie is fleece socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
-you owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
-at least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
-the most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
-your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
-you think the start of moose season is a national holiday.
-you frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck.

Ebonic Christmas

Was de nite befo chrismas
an all ober da hood
erbody wuz asleepin
dey wuz asleepin good

We hanged up wez stockin
an hope like de heck
dat ole sanny claws
gon bring us a check

All de fambly
wuz lay in dey beds
while thunderbird wine
dance in dey heads

I be pass out on de flo
rite nex to my maw
when i heered a big fuss
i thot. "it muss be da law"

Look out thru da bars
dat cover mah do
spectin da poleece
wif a warrant fo sho.

An what I seed
made me say "lawd looks at dat"
wuz a huge watermelon
pulled by giant warf rats.

Now all ober da years
sanny claws he be white
but he lookin like us bros
black sanny claws tomite

Faster den a poleece car
my homie he came
he pushed on dem warf rats
an called dem by name

On Leroy, on roosevelt
on Lonzo, on Sherman Lee
on Rufus and Willie
dey wuz a site to be see

He landed dat watermelon
out dere on da skreet
I knew it wuz fo sho
damest site i ever seed

He dint go down no chimmy
he pick da lock on my do
and i sex to mysef
"shit, he done dis befo"

He had dis big ol bag
full of presents i spect
wif air jordans and fake gold
fo wear round my nek

But he lef no good presents
jus started stealin my shit
got my drugs an my guns
an my burglars kit.

Wif my shit in his bag
out da winno he flew
I woodsa cut him
but he stole my nife too

He jump on da watermelon
an whooped out a switch
he wuz gon in a second
dat ole son of a bitch

Nex year I be hopin
a white sanny we git
cuz a black sanny claws
he ain't worf a shit. 

Twelve Days of Fast Food 

On the first day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
A Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the second day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Two Happy Meals,
and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the third day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Eight bowls of chili,
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Nine polish hot dogs,
Eight bowls of chili,
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Ten baked potatoes,
Nine polish hot dogs,
Eight bowls of chili,
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Eleven pounds of blubber,
Ten baked potatoes,
Nine polish hot dogs,
Eight bowls of chili,
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
My drive through gave to me:
Twelve bags of Pepto,
Eleven pounds of blubber,
Ten baked potatoes,
Nine polish hot dogs,
Eight bowls of chili,
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
And a Big Bacon Classic with Cheese

The Night Before a Redneck Christmas
It was the night before Christmas,
and all through the trailer park,
not a pop-top was poppin',
not even Ole Blue barked.


Our stockin's was hung
over the space heater with care,
in the hopes that Santy
would fill 'em with Viennas and beer.

The kids was asleep
in their NASCAR pj's,
Dreamin' of Goo Goo Clusters,
Moon Pies, and Milkyway's.

And Earlene in her curlers
and me in my Earnhardt cap,
had just settled into our La-Z-Boys
for Wheel of Fortune and a nap.

Then out in the vacant lot
I heart such a commotion,
I thought it was neighbor Clyde,
finally got his T'bird in motion.

I heaved out of my recliner
and to the window I flew,
Busted out the screen
and hollered to Ole Blue.

The moon was shinin down
on my old wrecked cars,
so bright they was sparklin'
like rusty old stars.

And I couldn't believe
by own hardworkin' eyes,
when a jacked-up Chevy pickup
come flyin' through the sky!

Faster'n Ole Ironhead
his possums they came,
and he whooped and hollered
and called 'em by name:

"Git up Sooner! Hi Duke!
Move yer tails Yaller and Spud!
On Blackie! On Queenie!
You mind me Duchess and Bud!"

"To the top of the satellite dish!
To the top of the shed!
Now move it n' Step on it!
Ya'll get out the lead!"

You know how on our old road
whenev'r a car goes by,
there's all this dirt
that flys up into the sky?

That's how this crew
went straight on up to my roof,
with that pickup full of toys,
a real nice gun rack, and Redneck Santa too.

Then 'fore I could pop my teeth in
I heerd up on the tin,
the scrabbling around
of them flying possums of his'n.

I yanked my head back in the trailer
and hitched up my shorts,
Down the dryer vent Redneck Santa came
with a grunt and a snort!

He was dressed in red-and-green camo
from his neck to his feet,
and I had to give him credit
he still had most of his teeth.

Looked like stuff from Earlene's yard sale
slung on his back,
There was flyswatters an' Tupperware,
an' 8-tracks stickin' out of his pack.

When he winked his eye
I knew fer sure he'd treat us right,
why, he just might even
leave me some ammo tonight!

I stood there dreamin' of a whitetail
while I watched him work,
then he stopped and like a real man, let out a fart and a burp.

He topped off our stockin's
with Moon Pies and bottle rockets,
then squoze up that dryer vent
like Spam in your pocket.

He jumped in his pickup,
laid down on the horn,
And I'm not lyin',
they took off with their possum tails flyin'.

But I heerd him holler
as he headed for the 7-11,
"Merry Christmas to all!
And may all rednecks get into heav'n!"