I am really disturbed today: 1) I spoke to my barber who lives in Carpinteria and he said that he voted (absentee, of course) to allow oil drilling on the bluffs. He said that the city and the schools need the money. He also said that most Carpinterians feel the same way. 2) I heard on the radio this morning that BP had successfully began pumping oil up to a ship. What is their goal, saving the oil or saving the environment ? I have the distinct impression that saving the oil is more important to them. 3) Apparently, van der Sloot was captured, and Aruba is doing nothing. Someone in the US contacted him to pay $250,000 for the location of Natalee Holloway's body. A down payment of $15k was made to a bank in the Netherlands. Why did we wait so long to try this ? Why isn't Aruba doing anything ? The GOOD thing here is that he will never get out of Peru's prisons. He has no rights in Peru and there are no extradition agreements with the Netherlands.
The sign reads:
WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS
WITH 1000 ARAB TERRORISTS
THAN WITH A SINGLE JEW.
This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business
in Philadelphia. Most would be outraged at the thought of such an
inflammatory statement...
One would think that anti-hate groups from all across the country
would be marching on this business and that the National Guard
might have to be called to keep the angry crowds back...
But, perhaps in these stressful times one might be tempted to let
the proprietors simply make their statement. We are a society who
hold Freedom of Speech as perhaps our greatest liberty and after
all it is just a sign...
You may be asking what business would dare post such a sign?
.........Goldberg's Funeral Home!
"The BP president said yesterday that the company would survive. That's like someone running over your dog and saying, 'Don't worry, my car is fine.'" —Jimmy Fallon
"BP wants Twitter to shut down a fake BP account that is mocking the oil company. In response, Twitter wants BP to shut down the oil leak that's ruining the ocean." —Jimmy Fallon
"A new poll found that 43 percent of Americans think President Obama is doing a good job at handling the BP oil spill. Of course, the same poll found that 43 percent of Americans hate pelicans." –Jimmy Fallon
"And today at a press conference, Obama said that the government does not have better technology than BP. That's a nice thing to announce to the world, that our government has fewer resources than a company that tried to plug a hole with a 'top hat.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"Well, folks, here's the latest update. I guess this is good news. BP officials say the 'top kill' plan is working. The bad news — BP officials are a bunch of lying weasels." –Jay Leno
"Scientists say they have developed a car that can run on water. The only catch is, the water has to come from the Gulf of Mexico." -Jay Leno
"I love this. On the news today, the CEO of British Petroleum says he believes the overall environmental impact of this oil spill will be very, very modest. Yeah. If you live in England!" –Jay Leno
"BP has inserted a siphon tube into the well to suck up all the oil from the spill. And they've had a lot of experience in this area, by the way. This is the same tube they've been using to suck the money out of our wallets for the past 50 years." –Jay Leno
"What they're going to do is they're going to suck all of that oil that's leaking into the gulf and pump it up into a tanker. Now the bad news is the tanker is the Exxon Valdez." –David Letterman
"In Louisiana, BP claims that it's making progress with the leaking oil in the Gulf. They're working on a plan to heat the Gulf up to 600 degrees and use it to fry chicken." –Jimmy Kimmel
"Have you been following the big oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico? Or as we call it now, the Dead Sea." –David Letterman
"There is so much oil now in the Gulf of Mexico, and you can thank the folks of British Petroleum for this, so much oil in the Gulf, you can now park on it." –David Letterman
"And tar is washing up onto the beaches — big globs of tar. And people are saying, 'Is that going to ruin our summer at the beach?' No, of course not. You take the big blobs of tar and you use them to hold down your blanket." –David Letterman
"This oil spill in the Gulf is affecting everybody. In fact, when I went to lunch this weekend and ordered the sea bass, they asked if I wanted it regular or unleaded." —David Letterman
"British Petroleum said today that if this spill gets worse, they may soon have to start drilling for water." —Jay Leno
"Dick Cheney's pals at Halliburton ... say they're going to do the underwater cement job to plug the hole. I thought, wait a minute, this is a mistake. Underwater cement? You call the mafia. Am I right?" —David Letterman
"The oil company said it was the rig company's fault. The rig company said it was Halliburton. And somehow, each time they passed the blame, Goldman Sachs made a hundred million dollars." —Bill Maher
"We're still dropping things on it. This is like if your toilet overflowed and you tried to fix it by smashing it with a brick. Their next idea is to get the old lady from Titanic and she's going to throw her jewelry at it." —Bill Maher, on the oil spill in the Gulf
"You folks been following the big British Petroleum oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico? I'm telling you, British Petroleum has put more birds in oil than Colonel Sanders." —David Letterman
"On Monday, British Petroleum promised to pay all necessary cleanup costs for this oil spill. And they said they will do it, no matter how much they have to raise gas prices." —Jay Leno
"They say the oil spill has the potential to kill more wildlife than a Sarah Palin hunting trip." —David Letterman
"This is the worst thing to happen to beaches since the Speedo." —Bill Maher, on the oil spill on the Gulf of Mexico
"The plan is to contain the oil slick with fire-retardant beams, and then set fire to the oil that pools on the surface. They say if it works there in the Gulf, they're going to try it on the cast of Jersey Shore." —Bill Maher
"By the way, Sarah Palin, if you're watching, how is that offshore drilling working out for ya?" —David Letterman
"Bad news, it's going to be a huge environmental disaster, the oil rig down there in the Gulf of Mexico. The good news is they think now that the oil spill will be diluted by the melting ice caps." —David Letterman
AS PROMISED: "The lighter side..." and free erudite opinions (and whines and gripes, that may not be politically correct), hyperboles and advice (on current events as well as topics for the digerati), and even some temporary(?) insanities too (daily risibility exercises)!... And the Picture-Of-The-Week:
Picoftheweek
My Statement
"Let me emphatically say that I am not anti-Facebook (Fleecebook), anti-smart phone, anti-Microsoft, anti-Apple, anti-Google or anti-Internet. I do believe, though, that the consumer is being ripped off of his privacy, identity and purchase history. We are being herded into a Facebook corner where what we "Like" and where we go physically and on the net will be scrutinized and sold numerous times to actually corrode and erode our culture while tempting us only with convenience, high tech and flashing video screens. The unsuspecting consumers need to be aware..." - Gary Lapman
Quote of Note
“If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.”-W.C. Fields
"For the strength of the Wolf is in the Pack, and the strength of the Pack is in the Wolf." - Rudyard Kipling
"For the strength of the Wolf is in the Pack, and the strength of the Pack is in the Wolf." - Rudyard Kipling
“Fame is vapor, popularity an accident, riches take wing, but only character endures.” - Matthew McConaughey
"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him"
"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason" - Jerry Seinfeld
"Fleecebook is free, you (and your identity) is the product!" - Gary Lapman
"Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we're here for something else besides ourselves." - Eric Sevareid
"'Smart' phones are only smart for the cell phone providers!" - Gary Lapman
"On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." -- Charles Babbage (1791-1871)
“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.” -Albert Einstein
"Technology creates the illusion of companionship without the intimacy of friendship." - unknown
"No worry, there's an app for that..." - Gary Lapman