Remember when a one time charge of $100 for a ten-foot antenna on your roof would get you thirteen stations for free ? Now we all pay about that much each month to get 100+ stations, even though we only watch about thirteen!
A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and was so proud. He anxiously waited to hear the verdict on the quality of the coffee.
The grandmother had never in her life had such a bad cup of coffee, and as she forced down the last sip she noticed three of those little green army guys in the bottom of the cup.
She asked, "Honey, why would three little green army guys be in the bottom of my cup?"
Her grandson replied, "You know grandma, it's like on TV, 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup.'
True Story...
P was going up to my hotel room in Vegas last week, not really paying attention, and as the elevator door started to close I ran to it as fast as I could, sticking my arm through to get it to open back up. My arm went right in the door and I hit an old lady right in the breasts!!
I didn't know what to say, so I got flustered and said:
"Ma'am, I sincerely apologize to you. And I know that if your heart is as soft as your lovely bosom, you will be able to forgive me."
She looked me up and down and said:
"Sonny, if the rest of you is as stiff as your arm... I'm in room 602!"
