Why all this talk about Palin (or is most of it coming from her direction)? She isn't running, or is she? It is not a far stretch to consider that she might be asked to be a running mate once again. While she has more recognition than she had the first time, much "water has passed under the bridge". I mean that what we didn't know the first time, but supposed, we KNOW now- and know better ("you betcha!").
Why is it such a big deal if a celebrity poses nude on a magazine when they are pregnant? If she wasn't, then it would just be another magazine cover. Women are beautiful when they are pregnant. Why shouldn't they pose? [not that I'm going to buy the magazine anyway...]
Locked Out
One rainy evening, my husband, John, and I emerged from a restaurant only to find that he had locked the keys in the car. He insisted he could open the door with a wire coat hanger, so we went back to the restaurant to get one. There were none to be found. Why is it such a big deal if a celebrity poses nude on a magazine when they are pregnant? If she wasn't, then it would just be another magazine cover. Women are beautiful when they are pregnant. Why shouldn't they pose? [not that I'm going to buy the magazine anyway...]
Locked Out
John then ran to a department store a quarter-mile away and returned with a hanger. After a few attempts, he got the door open and we climbed in. As we sat there, soaked and cold, he stuck the hanger under his seat.
With a smug grin, he said, "Now if this ever happens again, I'll have one handy....
If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide & seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If, instead of talking to your plants, you yelled at them, would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?
Is there another word for synonym?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs?
When you open a new bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Found in classified ads ....
Free puppies! 1/2 Cocker spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog
Found: dirty white dog. Looks like a rat...been out awhile. Better be reward.
Snow blower for sale... Only used on snowy days.
Tickle Me Elmo, still in box comes with its own 1988 mustang, 5l, auto, excellent condition $6800
Hummels - largest selection ever "If it's in stock, we have it!"
Georgia peaches - California grown - 89 cents lb.
Nice parachute: never opened - used once
Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 -- $9 / hour.
Things you would never know without the Movies
- Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead. - If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
- Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.
- Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
- All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
- A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK stadium.
- Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
- Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
- It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
- Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
- It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
- A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
- It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will patiently attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
- When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
- No-one ever involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
- Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
- You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
- Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
- Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment that it is aired.
- During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
- When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
- If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of year.
- All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to the waist level on the man lying beside her.
- The Chief of Police will almost always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.
- All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.
- It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone to talk you down.
- The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place - noone will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.
- Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is their polar opposite.
- The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
- All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they are going to go off.
- If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
- You are very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
- Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language - a German accent will do.
- If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
- A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
- When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill; just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
Things You Probably Did Not Know
A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue. A snail can sleep for three years.
All polar bears are left handed.
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
Butterflies taste with their feet
Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, dogs only have about 10.
China has more English speakers than the United States.
Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear any pants.
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you will have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
Leonardo da Vinci invented the scissors.
Marilyn Monroe had six toes.
No word in the English language rhymes with month.
Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.
Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.
Starfish haven't got brains.
The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth 2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.
The name Wendy was made up for the book 'Peter Pan'.
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
And finally...
You are more likely to be killed by a Champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.
