I heard an ad on the radio for a new garage-door opener that is WiFi enabled. This, they claim, is for two reasons: 1) so I can open and close my garage door with my smart phone, and 2) so that I can tell if my garage door is open when I'm not home. Is this REALLY worth the possible exposure to hackers that want to clean out your garage (and house). As it stands, most garage door openers have one out of 255 codes that someone has to try to get the door open. Better models change codes each time they are operated. If I leave my door open, that is my fault, just like if I leave the water running or the stove turned on. I cannot see the value in putting all of my appliances on the internet.
With the smart meters that are being installed all over, the utility companies will be able to tell when usage occurs. Next they will want to know whether I am using gas for heat or cooking. The have the capability to throttle you usage- in general- with these meters. Why would I want to provide them with more information.
Would I want anyone to know that there is a possibility that I am not home because my garage door is closed and my power usage is way down?
Being Popular On Facebook Is Like....
.....sitting at the "cool" table in the cafeteria at a mental hospital.
Friday Accident Report
Dear Sir, I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In block number 3 of the accident reporting form, I put "trying to do the job alone" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully, and I trust that the following details will be sufficient:
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of brick left over. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which, fortunately, was attached to the side of the building, at the sixth floor.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out, and loaded the brick into it. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh 135 pounds.
Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming down. This explains the fractured skull and broken collar bone.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of my pain.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately fifty pounds.
I refer you again to my weight in the block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles and the lacerations of my legs and lower body.
The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the bricks in pain, unable to stand, and watching the empty barrel six stories above me....I again lost my presence of mind....
I let go of the rope.................
A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.
"You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301.
There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow , push button 301.
I will buzz you in.
Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow , push 3.
When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow , hit my doorbell."
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?
"What . . . you're coming empty handed?"
Two guys sat down for lunch in the office cafeteria. "Hey, whatever happened to Pete in payroll?" one asked.
"He got this harebrained notion he was going to build a new kind of car." his co-worker replied.
"How was he going to do it?"
"He took an engine from a Pontiac, tires from a Chevy, seats from a Lincoln, hubcaps from a Caddy and, well, you get the idea."
"So what did he end up with?"
"Ten years in prison."
What My Mother Taught Me
My mother taught me LOGIC... "If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me." My mother taught me MEDICINE... "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."
My mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD... "If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!"
My mother taught me ESP... "Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?"
My mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE... "What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!"
My mother taught me HUMOR... "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
My mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT... "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.
My mother taught me ABOUT SEX... "How do you think you got here?"
My mother taught me about GENETICS... "You are just like your father!"
My mother taught me about my ROOTS... "Do you think you were born in a barn?"
My mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE... "When you get to be my age, you will understand."
My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION... "Just wait until your father gets home."
My mother taught me about RECEIVING... "You are going to get it when we get home."
And my all time favorite thing--JUSTICE... "One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU... then you'll see what it's like."
