Does Mark Zuckerberg qualify as the coolest nerd of all time? Would you think that someone that rich would consider hiring a coach to dress or even how to act? Is it is no wonder that he's been dating the same girl since college, and she hasn't found someone else or hooked him?
I was a graduate student until 1975. While I was at UCSB, my colleagues were working on a project funded by the gubmint called Arpanet. This was the predecessor to the internet as we know it today. Nineteen years later, in 1994, it still hadn't become common to everyone. Now, seventeen years later it is commonplace and access to it is easy from you hand-held smart phone, your car's dashboard, your appliances, et cetera. Where are we headed ?
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love... I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness."
"The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."
How soon can I go home?'For people over 40 . . .
A computer was something on TV
From a science-fiction show of note
A window was something you hated to clean
And ram was the cousin of a goat
Meg was the name of my girlfriend
And gig was a job for the nights
Now they all mean different things
And that really mega bytes.
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano.
Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3 inch Floppy
You hoped nobody found out.
Compress was something you did to the garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for a while.
Log on was adding wood to the fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode.
Cut you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu.
I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead.
Gone Postal
I just had a package delivered to my house today. I never heard of the delivery company before and asked the driver about it.
He told me that he, along with so many others were "Black Balled" from U.P.S. and Federal Express because they have been previously fired from The United States Postal Service.
So they formed a delivery service of their own.
It is called Fed-Up
