This guy gets to the Pearly Gates, and Saint Peter says, "Now wait just a moment, before I let you in, I need to ask you, have you ever done anything to put others first, or defended the weak or innocent, things like that?"
The man answers, "why yes, I saw this man with a Corvette by the side of the road, and he was yelling at his wife, and threatening her, so I walked up to him and screamed at him to leave her alone, and if he didn't I'd kick his head like this.... and I kicked a huge place on his driver's door on that Corvette".
Saint Peter answers, "Wow, that's pretty good, when did you do that?"
The man answers, "Oh, about 4 minutes ago".
The former kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to
first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher
insisted on no baby talk.
"You need to use `big people' words," she'd always remind them.
She then asked Wendy what she had done over the weekend.
"I went to visit my Nana."
"No, you went to visit your Grandmother. Use big people words."
She then asked Joey what he had done.
"I took a ride on a choo-choo," he said.
"No, you took a ride on a Train. Use big people words."
She then asked Eddie what he had done.
"I read a book," he replied.
"That's wonderful," the teacher said. "What book did you read?"
Eddie thought about it, then puffed out his chest with great
pride and said,
"Winnie The Shit."
AS PROMISED: "The lighter side..." and free erudite opinions (and whines and gripes, that may not be politically correct), hyperboles and advice (on current events as well as topics for the digerati), and even some temporary(?) insanities too (daily risibility exercises)!... And the Picture-Of-The-Week:
Picoftheweek
Waaaaaaaay too many to count...
