Let me mention again how wonderful it is that we have not heard from Meg Whitman since the election. I am still amazed by the lack of political ads and bullsh*t! There is certainly enough flowing from other directions.
So it appears as though new laws that take effect next year will allow dogs to accompany their owners in restaurant's outside seating. I am amazed actually. When the owner needs to go to the restroom, what will happen with his dog? What happens when tables with dogs are next to each other? This new law took me by surprise and I'm predicting that it will ONLY work in a small percentage of cases. We'll see...
As we Silver Surfers know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers.
I had a problem yesterday so I called Eric, the 11 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over. Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking away I called after him "so, what was wrong?"
He replied, "it was an ID ten T error."
I didn't want to appear stupid but nonetheless inquired, "an ID ten t error? What's that?"
I wanted to know in case I need to fix it again.
Eric grinned . . . "haven't you ever heard of a ID ten T error before?"
"No," I replied.
"Write it down" he said, "I think you will figure it out."
So I wrote down: ID10T
I used to like Eric, the little bastard.
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| REDNECK BUMPER STICKERS |
This British gentleman and his wife stop at a diner for lunch. Just as they are sitting down a biker walks in and as he passes their table, he lets out the nastiest juicy fart you've ever heard.
The Brit stands up, puts his hands on his hips, and yells "How dare you fart before my wife".
The biker says "Chill out, little dude. I didn't know it was her turn".
Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome. One has a cross in front of him; the other one, the Star of David. Many people go by and look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.
A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar behind the cross, but none give to the beggar behind the Star of David. Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says, "My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic country; this city is the seat of Catholicism. People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they would probably give to him just out of spite,"
The beggar behind the Star of David listened to the priest, turned to the other beggar with the cross and said: "Moishe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing!
Four novice nuns were about to take their vows. Dressed in their white gowns, they came into the chapel with the Mother Superior, and were about to undergo the ceremony to marry them to Jesus, making them "Brides of Christ."
Just as the ceremony was about to begin, four Hasidic Jews with yarmulkes, long sideburns and long beards came in and sat in the front row.
The Mother Superior said to them, "I am honored that you would want to share this experience with us, but do you mind if I ask you why you came?"
One of the Jews replied, "We're from the groom's family."
This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up. Everything checked out fine.
The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, "Doctor, I haven't had sex for years now and I was wondering how I can increase my husband's sex drive."
The doctor smiled and said, "Have you tried to give him Viagra?"
The lady frowned. "Doctor, I can't even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache," she claimed.
"Well," the doctor continued, "Let me suggest something. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. He won't notice a thing."
The old lady was delighted. She left the doctor's office quickly. Weeks later the old lady returned. She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. She shook her head.
"How did it go?" the doctor asked.
"Terrible, doctor, terrible."
"Did it not work?"
"Yes," the old lady said, "It worked. I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. It was the best sex that I'd had in 25 years." "Then what is the problem, ma'am?" "Well," she said. "I can't ever show my face in McDonald's again."
The Dad was driving his five year old son to school and then suddenly by mistake his hand hit the horn.
The boy started looking curiously at the Dad hearing the sound.
So the embarrassed Dad explained, "I am sorry son I just hit the Horn inadvertently."
The boy started giggling, "I know that Dad, because otherwise you would yell 'ASSHOLE' after honking."
