An elderly senior couple were invited to an old friends home for dinner one evening. She was impressed by the way her lady friend preceded every request to her husband with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love. While the husband was in the living room, her lady friend leaned over to her host to say, 'I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your husband all those loving pet names'.
The elderly lady hung her head. 'I have to tell you the truth,' she said, 'His name slipped my mind about 10 years ago, and I'm scared to death to ask the cranky old asshole what his name is.
A couple had been married for 50 years.
They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.'
'I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago.'
'Well,' Granny snickered. 'Let's relive some old times.'
Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied, 'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.'
'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps. 'One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!!!!
TENJOOBERRYMUDS
Room Service : "Morrin. Roon sirbees."
Guest : "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."
Room Service: " Rye . Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???"
Guest: "Uh..... Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs."
Room Service: "Ow July den?"
Guest: ".....What??"
Room Service: "Ow July den?!?... Pryed, 2 0boyud, poochd?"
Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. Scrambled, please."
Room Service: Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"
Guest: "Crisp will be fine."
Room Service: Hokay. An Sahn toes?"
Guest: "What?"
Room Service: "An toes. July Sahn toes?"
Guest: "I.... Don't think so."
Room Service: "No? Judo wan sahn toes???"
Guest: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what judo wan sahn toes'
means."
Room Service: "Toes! Toes!...Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin
we bodder?"
Guest: "Oh, English muffin!!! I've got it! You were saying toast Fine....Yes, an
English muffin will be fine."
Room Service: "We bodder?"
Guest: "No, just put the bodder on the side."
Room Service: "Wad?!?"
Guest: "I mean butter... Just put the butter on the side."
Room Service: "Copy?"
Guest: "Excuse me?"
Room Service: "Copy...tea..meel?"
Guest: "Yes. Coffee, please... And that's everything."
Room Service: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we
bodder on sigh and copy ... Rye ??"
Guest: "Whatever you say."
Room Service: "Tenjooberrymuds."
Guest: "You're welcome"
And you thought you didn't speak a foreign language!!
