Picoftheweek

Picoftheweek
Waaaaaaaay too many to count...

My Statement

"Let me emphatically say that I am not anti-Facebook (Fleecebook), anti-smart phone, anti-Microsoft, anti-Apple, anti-Google or anti-Internet. I do believe, though, that the consumer is being ripped off of his privacy, identity and purchase history. We are being herded into a Facebook corner where what we "Like" and where we go physically and on the net will be scrutinized and sold numerous times to actually corrode and erode our culture while tempting us only with convenience, high tech and flashing video screens. The unsuspecting consumers need to be aware..." - Gary Lapman

Quote of Note

“If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.”-W.C. Fields

"For the strength of the Wolf is in the Pack, and the strength of the Pack is in the Wolf." - Rudyard Kipling

"Common sense is not so common. " -Voltaire

“Fame is vapor, popularity an accident, riches take wing, but only character endures.” - Matthew McConaughey

"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him"

"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason" - Jerry Seinfeld

"Fleecebook is free, you (and your identity) is the product!" - Gary Lapman


"Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we're here for something else besides ourselves." - Eric Sevareid

"'Smart' phones are only smart for the cell phone providers!" - Gary Lapman

"On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." -- Charles Babbage (1791-1871)

“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.” -Albert Einstein

"Technology creates the illusion of companionship without the intimacy of friendship." - unknown

"No worry, there's an app for that..." - Gary Lapman

Monday, March 22, 2010

Legislation R Us!

So it appears that the health bill is more important to the Democrats than the jobs bill.  If you don't have a job, and the new law forces you to get health insurance; who pays for it ?  Well, the answer is that everybody pays for it in taxes that provide unemployment payments and welfare...  Isn't that what we have now when someone goes to the hospital without insurance?

I guess I really don't understand what the benefits of this bill are.  Also, I REALLY don't understand how this affect the employed and insured- namely me...

This is way too heavy of a discussion for this time of the evening.  How about some funnies instead...

"The suit is the universal business outfit for men. I don't know why it projects this image of power. 'We'd better do what this guy says, his pants match his jacket'"
 - Jerry Seinfeld
Two Australian blokes were walking home from work one afternoon.

"Shit," said the first bloke, "as soon as I get home, I'm gonna
rip the wife's knickers off!"

"What's the rush?" his mate asked.

"The bloody elastic in the legs is killing me"

You know you're a redneck when...
Your gene pool doesn't have a "deep end".
Your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
You have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
Fewer than half of your cars run.
You buy two CB radios so you can talk to yourself.
Your mom gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.
You wake up with both a black eye and a hickey.
You've been to a funeral and there were more pick-ups than cars.
Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.





How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say shit? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!  


Idiot Sightings!
Sighting #1:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled and nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask."

Idiot Sighting #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals to blind people when the light is red. She responded, appalled, "What on earth are blind people doing driving!"

Idiot Sighting #3:
At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager spoke up and said, "this is fun. We should have lunch like this more often," Not another word was spoken. We just looked at each other like deer staring into the headlights of an approaching truck.

Idiot Sighting #4:
I worked with an Individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her could not understand why her system would not turn on.

Idiot Sighting #5:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger's side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" "I know," answered the young man. "I already got that side..." 




THINGS A JEWISH MOTHER WOULD NEVER SAY!
"Just live with him.. you don't have to marry him.. I don't need
any grandchildren"

"Be good and for your birthday I'll buy you a motorcycle!"

"How on earth can you see the TV, sitting so far back?"

"Don't bother wearing a jacket -- it's quite warm out."

"Let me smell that shirt -- yeah, it's good for another week."

"I think a cluttered bedroom is a sign of creativity."

"Yeah, I used to skip school, too."

"Just leave all the lights on...it makes the house more cheery."

"Could you turn the music up louder, so I can enjoy it, too?"

"Run and bring me the scissors! Hurry!"

"Aw, just turn these undies inside out. No one will ever know."

"I don't have a tissue with me -- just use your sleeve."

"Well, if Timmy's Mom says it's okay, that's good enough for me."

"Of course you should walk to school and back. What's the big
deal about having to cross a few main streets?"

"My meeting won't be over till later tonight. You kids don't mind
skipping dinner, do you?"

"I saw your subscription to Playboy was expiring so I sent in a
check to renew."

"If she wants you both to move back east to live near her family
it's fine with me."

"Mother's day, Shmother's Day you just go to the beach and enjoy
yourselves."

"You don't have to call me every week I know how busy you are."

"You are so lucky to have your in-laws"

"Your wife knows best - forget about the advice I gave you"