Someone sent me an email about the Vette and wants to trade me a 2005 Vette plus money for it. This would be interesting. We'll see how long the interest continues.
There once was a priest who had to spend the night in a hotel.
He got to his room and opened up the Gideon's Bible to page 1,
then called the front desk and asked the hat check girl to come
up to his room for dinner.
After a while he started making passes, she stopped him and
reminded him he was a holy man.
"It's OK," he replied, "it's written in the Bible."
So after a wild night of sex, the hat check girl asked to see
where in the Bible it says it's okay to have wild, passionate
sex.
The priest picks up the Bible off the dresser opens to the first
page where someone had written in pencil:
"The hat check girl puts out!"
Women Are Like Apples
Women are like apples on trees The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of Falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.
The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, They're amazing. They just have to wait for the right person to come along, The one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
Now Men.... Men are like a fine wine.
They begin as grapes, and it's up to Women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something Acceptable enough to have dinner with.
A man comes home from a night of drinking.
As he falls through the doorway, his wife snaps at him, "What's the big idea coming home half drunk?" The man replies, "I'm sorry honey. I ran out of money."
One night, a torrential rain soaked South Louisiana, the next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6 feet into most of the homes there.
Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Mrs. Thibodaux, waiting for help to come.
Mrs. Thibodaux noticed a lone baseball cap floating near the house. Then she saw it float far out into the front yard, then float all the way back to the house, it kept floating away from the house, then back in.
Her curiosity got the best of her, so she asked Mrs. Boudreaux, "Do you see that baseball cap floating away from the house, then back again?"
Mrs. Boudreaux said, "Oh yes, that's my husband, I told him he was going to cut the grass today come Hell or high water!"
Senior entertainment
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop.
We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
We went up to him and said, 'Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?'
He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.
So my wife called him a shit-head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket.. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus and the car had an Obama sticker. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age.
