Having survived Christmas AND Christmas dinner; I am still working on my sugar high from cookies, pies, candy and fudge. The dinner was great, as I tried two new recipes. I made prim rib that was encrusted with a horseradish and garlic crust- scrumptious, and potatoes au gratin that were made with smokey Gouda and Manchego cheese. This is my first experience with Manchego cheese, which is a Spanish sheeps-milk cheese that is similar to Parmesan, but a bit richer in fat. The flavors were amazing. We will be on a diet beginning sharply on January 1.
I keep reading about the fiscal cliff and cannot understand why it exists and why it hasn't been addressed to make it go away. I assume that it is the result of a "kick-the-can-down-the-road" piece of legislature, that could have been avoided. Apparently most of the efforts are towards how each of the members of Congress can attach the most pork to anything that passes, rather than a finalized solution to the problem. When we spend more than we have, we have to do without for a while. When they spend more than they have, they just print more money- until it reaches the limit- then they increase the limit. After all, these members of Congress won't be in office forever. The next group will then "kink-the-can" again... I still say, we should have thrown the bums out of office...
Normally, I would be looking forward to New Year's, but I'm not so sure this year.
Medical Chart Notes
1. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. On the second day, the knee was better, and then on the third day it disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
7. Healthy-appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
8. The patient refused autopsy.
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
11. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the last three days.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
14. She is numb from her toes down.
15. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
16. The skin was moist and dry.
17. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
18. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.
20. Rectal examination revealed a normal-size thyroid.
21. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
24. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
25. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
26. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. ____, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
27. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
28. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was hot in bed last night.
29. Patient was found in bed with her power mower.
Places I'd Rather Not Live
- Paradox, New York
- Crapo, Maryland
- Boogertown, North Carolina
- Spasticville, Kansas
- Hellhole, Idaho
- Purgatory, Maine
- Girdletree, Maryland
- Rabbithash, Kentucky
What Would Freud Say About These Places?
- Climax, Michigan
- Spread Eagle, Wisconsin
- Needmore, Arkansas
- Hardup, Utah
- Intercourse, Pennsylvania
- Hornytown, North Carolina
- Conception Junction, Missouri
It Doesn't Surprise Me That There is a...
- Rudeville, New Jersey
- Boring, Oregon
- Hell, Michigan
- Hooker, California
- Virgin, Utah
- Dulls Corner, Maryland
- Bowlegs, Oklahoma
- Volcano, Hawaii
- Beersville, Pennsylvania
- Fleatown, Ohio
- Burnt Corn, Alabama
- Two Guns, Arizona
- Toad Suck, Arkansas
