Friday night, I rented "Unthinkable" which was an amazing movie that unfortunately went directly to DVD. It forced the viewer to think about many, many scenarios which are "unthinkable". It also forced the cast of the movie to do things that were far beyond the law and American ideals, forcing them to be more like the terrorists we fight. An unsettling but good movie.
Last night, we went to see "Salt". I can say that I really enjoyed the movie and Angelina Jolie, but it left me with a desire and need for more from the plot. The movie jumps into the middle of action without much background. The audience is forced to put two and two together on their own, but frequently things did not add up to four. I think that it deserves a sequel. We have to know more of the main character and her background, and the reasons she does what she does. The special effects and photography were well done. We wanted to see more of the soft side of Angelina, but we were not allowed. The plot twists are well hidden until they have to be revealed...
Just had a walk through Isla Vista and Devoureaux with Max and it was beautiful. A light breeze was blowing over dark blue ocean and shiny breakers on the beach.
There was a young Scottish lad named Angus who decided to try
life in Australia. He found an apartment in a small block and
settled in.
After a week or two, his mother called from Aberdeen to see how
her son was doing in his new life.
"I'm fine," Angus said, "But there are some really strange people
living here in Australia. One woman cries all day long, another
lies on her floor moaning, and there is a guy next door to me who
bangs his head on the wall all the time."
"Well, ma wee laddie," says his mother, "I suggest you don't
associate with people like that."
"Oh," says Angus, "I don't, Ma'am, I don't. No, I just stay
inside ma apartment all day and night, playing ma bagpipes."
Ruthie was enjoying a good game of bridge with her girlfriends
one evening. "Oh, no! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my
husband! He's going to really ticked if it's not ready on time!"
she exclaimed suddenly.
When she got home, she realized that she didn't have enough time
to go to the supermarket, and all she had in the cupboard was a
wilted lettuce leaf, an egg, and a can of cat food. In a panic,
she opened the can of cat food, stirred in the egg, and garnished
it with the lettuce leaf just as her husband pulled up.
She greeted him and then watched in horror as he sat down to his
dinner. To her surprise, her husband really enjoyed his dinner.
"Ruthie, this is the best dinner you have made for me in forty
years of marriage. You can make this for me any old day."
Needless to say, every bridge night from then on, Ruthie made her
husband the same dish. She told her bridge cronies about it and
they were all horrified.
"You're going to kill him!" they exclaimed.
Two months later, her husband died.
Her bridge cronies came around to pay their respects and while
they were sitting around the kitchen table one of them said,
"You killed him! We told you that feeding him that cat food
every week would do him in! How can you just sit there so calmly
drinking tea knowing you murdered your husband?"
Ruthie stoically replied, "I didn't kill him. He fell off the
mantel while he was licking his butt."
Four people in the carriage of a train
- an Englishman, a pretty young blonde girl, an ugly old woman and a Frenchman. It all goes dark when the train goes through a tunnel. In the dark there's the sound of an almighty slap, and when the train emerges from the tunnel the Frenchman is rubbing his face, and there's a huge red mark on his cheek.
The old lady thinks: "I bet that Frenchman fondled the blonde in the dark and she slapped him."
The pretty young blonde thinks: "I bet the Frenchman tried to fondle me in the dark, got the old lady by mistake, and she hit him."
The Frenchman thinks: "I bet that Englishman fondled the blonde in the dark, but the blonde thought it was me and hit me."
The Englishman thinks: "I hope there's another tunnel coming up soon so I can slap that French twat again."
Good morning!
A blonde named Cindy decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no prior lessons or experience. Cindy mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but Cindy begins to slip from the saddle.
In terror, Cindy grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly unaffected by its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves. Her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when.........
...... the supermarket manager runs out and shuts the horse off."
Mother Superior called the nuns together and announced: "We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent." An old nun from the back of the room said: " Well, thank
God. I'm sick of Chardonnay".
