About a year after we moved into this house, I went around and replaced all the nine-volt batteries in the smoke alarms. Of course, I bought the best brand (because Costco sells them in bulk). One of the smoke alarms shorted out and continued to beep. The units are powered from house wiring as well as battery backup. At any rate, the inside of the unit was fried. Apparently, the "copper-top" brand is a smidge shorted than standard, allowing it to be inserted backwards. When I contacted the smoke alarm manufacturer to get a replacement, they particularly mentions NOT to use the "copper-top" brand for that reason. So here is an example of an item that has a de-facto standard size, and the largest manufacturer decides to change that standard. It sure seems that all nine-volt batteries should be the same, but they are not.
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A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."
The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The head stewardesses doesn't even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blode is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot.
The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. The copilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica."
A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.
"I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds."
When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?"
The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?" said the doctor.
"No, from skipping," replied the blonde.
