Remember in the movie Social Network that Zuckerberg was constantly borrowing money for server equipment or other items necessary to get Facebook up and running? We really don't know how true that part of the movie was, or if it is, whether those loans were ever paid back or not. If they didn't get repaid, what is that loan worth today? This guy in New York claims that he owns a portion of Facebook because of one of those loans. Zuckerberg better have a receipt that he paid this guy back or the company is in deep doo-doo.
Sometimes, when I haven't received many jokes from friends, I have to peruse the discussion forums or joke sites. Unfortunately, most them are pretty old. It seems like most people are so preoccupied with the news that they aren't as funny as they have been...
A man walks into a bar with his dog and orders two glasses of whiskey. He proposes a toast and both he and his dog empty their glasses.
A man walks into a bar with his dog and orders two glasses of whiskey. He proposes a toast and both he and his dog empty their glasses.
The girl behind the bar is surprised and asks, "Can your dog perform other tricks?"
"But of course", the man answers, "he can even gratify a woman."
Anxious to know more, the girl leads the man and the dog into a little room above the bar. She undresses, and full of expectation, she lies down on the bed.
The dog looks at her and does nothing.
"It's always the same thing with you!", the man then shouts at the dog, "Okay, I'll show you how to do this one last time!"
THE LAWS
1. The Law of Common Sense
Never accept a drink from a urologist.
2. The Law of Reality
Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
3. The Law of Self Sacrifice
When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.
4. The Law of Volunteering
If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.
5. The Law of Avoiding Oversell
When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.
6. The Law of Motivation
Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.
7. Boob's Law
You always find something in the last place you look.
8. Wailer's Law
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
9. Law of Probable Dispersal
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
10. Law of Volunteer Labor
People are always available for work in the past tense.
11. Conway's Law
In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.
12. Iron Law of Distribution
Them that has, gets.
13. Law of Cybernetic Entomology
There is always one more bug.
14. Law of Drunkenness
You can't fall off the floor.
15. Heeler's Law
The first myth of management is that it exists.
16. Osborne's Law
Variables won't; constants aren't.
17. Main's Law
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
18. Weinberg's Second Law
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization.
