Addressing the psyche, researchers have found that our own self-esteem is being eroded by having a Facebook account. In the past we could only guess as to how much fun or how many friends somebody had, but now it is blazoned across the screen- rubbing-it-in so to speak. You may have Facebook envy! While this really doesn't have anything to do with Facebook, per se, the process of elaborating on the screen, each of the events (or lack of) in your life.
Yesterday I had an appointment to see the urologist for a prostate exam. Of course I was a bit on edge because all my friends have either gone under the knife or had those pellets implanted. The waiting room was filled with patients. As I approached the receptionist's desk, I noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. I gave her my name, and in a very loud voice she said: "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE, YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"
All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at me, now a very embarrassed man.
But as usual, I recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice, I replied: "NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS."
The room erupted in applause!
Politicians and diapers should be changed often and for the same reason...
1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called... 'Ministers Do More Than Lay People'
2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
3. The difference between the Pope and your boss: the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.
5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.
7. It used to be only death and taxes now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can
11. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment...for enjoying sex.
12. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me....I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is.' Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her.
Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?'
