Well, another birthday is about to pass. I'm thinking about what has happened during the last year- and if anything has really changed... The political stage is evolving into the inevitable Republican candidate that might have a slim chance to win, Uncle Mitt. Those with the sense to give up, have- the rest don't matter. Gasoline has gone down a smidgeon- almost not noticeable.
It has actually come out that hybrid car buyers don't usually re-buy a hybrid. Interesting! I've been says for a long time that we need the technology, but it isn't here totally yet. The cost of ownership is front-loaded to the point that it doesn't make financial sense. The cost of replacement batteries, back-loads the cost, as well.
I am beginning to feel my age in many ways. I still want to simplify and slow-down the processing of the days, but most of the time I feel as though I am gargling with a data-laden fire-hose, and I almost have no choice. Meanwhile, my joints creek and my memory is slowing down...
On another note, why do fast food companies think that we are obsessed with bacon? Where did that come from ? Jack has a commercial where a fan marries bacon. Jack also has a bacon flavored shake (does not contain bacon). Now Burger King has a bacon sundae. Even worse, Pizza Hut now has a pizza with hot dogs in in the crust handles! It is no wonder that obesity is a big issue in this country. Why can't we eat GOOD food the way it was intended to be eaten?
And still another, all along I have been saying that Fleecebook is not to be trusted. Zuck is our friend- NOT. With their purchase of Instagram, they have crossed the imaginary (?) line and the previously unwary public are now expressing their wariness. How can a company with so much money, so much potential (?) worth and a heap of arrogance brought on by their size and net presence (power) be trusted? The answer is that it can't- it never could be. Fleecebook has lost it's "cool factor". This be true in spite of the fact that many of us never believed that it had one....
For you old timers - Exercise for People Over 50
Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.
With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can.
Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.
After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks. Then try 50-lb potato sacks and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.
After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks...
Baby Boomer Hits
Herman's Hermits: Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker
Ringo Starr: I Get By With a Little Help From Depends
The Bee Gees: How Can You Mend a Broken Hip
Bobby Darin: Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash
Roberta Flack: The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face
Johnny Nash: I Can't See Clearly Now
Paul Simon: Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
The Commodores: Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom
Procol Harem: A Whiter Shade of Gray
Leo Sayer: You Make Me Feel Like Napping
The Temptations: Papa's Got a Kidney Stone
Abba: Denture Queen
Tony Orlando: Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall
Helen Reddy: I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore
Leslie Gore: It's My Heart Attack, and I'll Cry If I Want To
Willie Nelson: On the Commode Again
Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.
So I said 'Implants?' She hit me.
How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ?
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'
Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!
Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison? A completely brilliant question !!!!!!!
Wouldn't you know it....
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
Another completely brilliant question !!!!
Easter Wrap up - Catholics ONLY PLEASE!
First - is it just me or does the fact everyone has HAM on EASTER seem odd? We celebrate Jesus (who was JEWISH) with HAM!!! Who came up with that one???
Here is the "Secret Stuff" we know that NON-CATHOLICS don't know:
Secret Catholic Stuff
This information is for Catholics only. It must not to be divulged to non-Catholics. The less they know about our rituals and top secret code words, the better off everyone is.
AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass.
CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync.
HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.
HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.
RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.
INCENSE: Holy Smoke!
JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges with good basketball teams.
JONAH: The original 'Jaws' story.
JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.
MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.
MANGER: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO. (Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.)
PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.
PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.
RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.
RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.
TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.
USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew.
