Today I read that Topeka, Kansas (where?) officially changed their name to Google! The mayor did this (for a month) to encourage Google to deploy their latest and greatest fiber-optic internet there. This kind of thing isn't new. Remember Truth or Consequences in New Mexico changed their name to get the TV show there. This kind of tactic has been used countless times and a very large percentage have been rewarded. Therefore, before we miss out, I nominate Goleta to become the first city in California to attract new technology, business, jobs, fame, et cetera by changing its name to Google, CA! Why didn't I think of it sooner?
Finals
It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the local university. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 700 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. 1/2 hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.
"You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor stated sarcastically as he handed the student a booklet.
"Yes I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing. After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing. 1/2 hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.
"No you don't, I'm not going to accept that. It's late." The student looked incredulous and angry.
"Do you know WHO I am?"
"No, as a matter of fact I don't," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.
"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" the student asked again.
"No, and I don't care." replied the professor with an air of superiority.
"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room.
A mommy needed gramma to babysit one evening...
and when the mom drops off her little 6yr old bundle of joy, the mom tells the gramma, make sure he eats by 6pm has his bath by 7pm and he is in bed by 8pm. The gramma agrees and they start to have fun playing games, watching movies, and before you know it it is 7:30 and they are eating pizza. So the gramma decides, what the heck, she'll pull the little kid into the shower with her and kill two birds with one stone. So everything went fine, the kid was asleep by 8:30. About a week later back home, the mom is rushing around one evening and is late getting the kid dinner and his bath, so SHE decides she'll just pull the kid into the shower with her and kill two birds with one stone. So...they are in the shower and the little kid points straight ahead and asks his mommy, "Mommy, what is that?!" The mom taken aback says, "Thats Mommy's beaver." The little kid stands there a second and says, "Gramma has a beaver too but hers must be dead because it's tongue was hanging out."
