I still want to know what happens if BP declares bankruptcy. I can't imagine them not doing so, and how will Obama's gubmint react ?
In the ultimate case of stolen identities, how many more spies are living quietly in the US with someone else's identity, perhaps a dead person ? It would seem that a scan and correlation of records via computer would drum up some extra cases for evaluation....
Some thoughts on Independence Day by Ben Stein.
Everyone have a great day....
IF AIRLINES SOLD PAINT . . . Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?
Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things.
Customer: Can you give me a guess? Is there an average price?
Clerk: Our lowest price is $12 a gallon, and we have 60 different
prices up to $200 a gallon.
Customer: What's the difference in the paint?
Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference; it's all the same paint.
Customer: Well, then I'd like some of that $12 paint.
Clerk: When do you intend to use the paint?
Customer: I want to paint tomorrow. It's my day off.
Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint.
Customer: When would I have to paint to get the $12 paint?
Clerk: You would have to start very late at night in about 3
weeks. But you will have to agree to start painting before Friday
of that week and continue painting until at least Sunday.
Customer: You've got to be *&%^#@* kidding!
Clerk: I'll check and see if we have any paint available.
Customer: You have shelves FULL of paint! I can see it!
Clerk: But it doesn't mean that we have paint available. We sell
only a certain number of gallons on any given weekend. Oh, and by
the way, the price per gallon just went to $16. We don't have any
more $12 paint.
Customer: The price went up as we were talking?
Clerk: Yes, sir. We change the prices and rules hundreds of times
a day, and since you haven't actually walked out of the store
with your paint yet, we just decided to change. I suggest you
purchase your paint as soon as possible. How many gallons do you
want?
Customer: Well, maybe five gallons. Make that six, so I'll have
enough.
Clerk: Oh no, sir, you can't do that. If you buy paint and don't
use it, there are penalties and possible confiscation of the
paint you already have.
Customer: WHAT?
Clerk: We can sell enough paint to do your kitchen, bathroom,
hall and north bedroom, but if you stop painting before you do
the bedroom, you will lose your remaining gallons of paint.
Customer: What does it matter whether I use all the paint? I
already paid you for it!
Clerk: We make plans based upon the idea that all our paint is
used, every drop. If you don't, it causes us all sorts of
problems.
Customer: This is crazy!! I suppose something terrible happens if
I don't keep painting until after Saturday night!
Clerk: Oh yes! Every gallon you bought automatically becomes the
$200 paint.
Customer: But what are all these, "Paint on sale from $10 a
liter" signs?
Clerk: Well that's for our budget paint. It only comes in half-
gallons. One $5 half-gallon will do half a room. The second half-
gallon to complete the room is $20. None of the cans have labels,
some are empty and there are no refunds, even on the empty cans.
Customer: To hell with this! I'll buy what I need somewhere else!
Clerk: I don't think so, sir. You may be able to buy paint for
your bathroom and bedrooms, and your kitchen and dining room from
someone else, but you won't be able to paint your connecting hall
and stairway from anyone but us. And I should point out, sir,
that if you paint in only one direction, it will be $300 a
gallon.
Customer: I thought your most expensive paint was $200!
Clerk: That's if you paint around the room to the point at which
you started. A hallway is different.
Customer: And if I buy $200 paint for the hall, but only paint in
one direction, you'll confiscate the remaining paint.
Clerk: No, we'll charge you an extra use fee plus the difference
on your next gallon of paint. But I believe you're getting it
now, sir.
Customer: You're insane!
Clerk: Thanks for painting with United.
Older Than Dirt Quiz: Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about! Ratings at the bottom.
1. Blackjack chewing gum
2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
3. Candy cigarettes
4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles
5. Coffee shops or diners with tableside juke boxes
6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
7. Party lines
8. Newsreels before the movie
9. P.F. Flyers
10. Butch wax
11. Telephone numbers with a word prefix (OLive-6933)
12. Peashooters
13. Howdy Doody
14. 45 RPM records
15. S&H Green Stamps
16 Hi-fi's
17. Metal ice trays with lever
18. Mimeograph paper
19 Blue flashbulb
20. Packards
21 Roller skate keys
22. Cork popguns
23. Drive-ins
24. Studebakers
25. Wash tub wringers
If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young
If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older
If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age,
If you remembered 16-25 = You're older than dirt!
I might be older than dirt but those memories are the best part of my life.
