I am REALLY surprised that the sophistication of GPS may not have been available on the cruise ship that is sinking off the coast of Italy. It seems that it would almost be impossible to run a ship aground given that you know exactly where the ship is and have maps that show latitude and longitude of hazards. I noticed that there has been no mention of the instrumentation that was available to the captain of that ship, and whether it was working correctly. There is no excuse for his actions after going aground, but the actual accident may not be his fault. We seem way to anxious to put the blame on him, even though he certainly deserves the major amount of it.
The world is moving way too fast. The simple life has all but disappeared. High technologies have only made it worse and there is no slowing down or stopping in sight. How much of the "progress" can be attributed to greed?
How far away is the Singularity? Now they are making a movie about it. Certainly it is too far gone to turn back, but exactly how far away is it ?
Office Buzz Words and Phrases for the 21st Century
· BLAMESTORMING
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed
or a project failed, and who was responsible.
· SEAGULL MANAGER
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on
everything, and then leaves.
· CHAINSAW CONSULTANT
An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount,
leaving the top brass with clean hands.
· CUBE FARM
An office filled with cubicles.
· MOUSE POTATO
The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
· PRAIRIE DOGGING
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and
people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
· SITCOMs
(Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage) What yuppies
turn into when they have children and one of them stops working
to stay home with the kids.
· STARTER MARRIAGE
A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids,
no property and no regrets.
· STRESS PUPPY
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
· SWIPED OUT
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the
magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
· TOURISTS
People who take training classes just to get a vacation from
their jobs. "We had three serious students in the class; the rest
were just tourists."
· TREEWARE
Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.
· XEROX SUBSIDY
Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
· CHIPS & SALSA
Chips = hardware, Salsa = software. "Well, first we gotta figure
out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa."
· PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE
The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to
get it to work again. (Try not to dent the case.)
· SALMON DAY
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only
to get screwed and die in the end.
· CLM
(Career Limiting Move) Used among microserfs to describe ill-
advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within
earshot is a serious CLM.
· ADMINISPHERE
The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank
and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often
profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
designed to solve.
· DILBERTED
To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the
experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character.
"I've been Dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the
fourth time this week."
· 404
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message
"404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be
located. "Don't bother asking him ... he's 404, man."
Little Johnny sees his Daddy's car passing the playground and
going into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy
and Aunt Jane kissing.
Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as
he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly.
"MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND AND DADDY AND..."
Mommy tells him to slow down, but that she wants to hear the
story.
So Johnny tells her. "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's
car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went to look and Daddy
was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her
shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt
Jane laid down on the seat, then Daddy..."
At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such
an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper
time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it
tonight."
At the dinner table, Mommy asks Johnny to tell his story. He
describes the car into the woods, the undressing, laying down on
the seat, and...
"... then Daddy and Aunt Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle
Jeff used to do when Daddy was in the Army."
Kids Books You'll Never See
"You Were an Accident" "How to Dress Sexy for Grownups"
"Strangers Have the Best Candy"
"Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her"
"Bi-Curious George"
"The Little Sissy Who Snitched"
"Some Kittens Can Fly!"
"Getting More Chocolate on Your Face"
"Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?"
"Daddy Drinks Because You Cry"
"Where Would You Like to Be Buried?"
"The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of North America. Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!"
"All Dogs Go to Hell"
"The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking"
"When Mommy and Daddy Don't Know the Answer They Say God Did It"
"Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia"
"What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?"
"Mister Policeman Eats His Service Revolver"
"You Are Different and That's Bad"
