The Louisiana State Police had received numerous reports of illegal cockfights being held in the area around Abbeville and had sent their famous Detective Boudreaux from Thibodeaux to investigate.
Boudreaux promptly began his investigation and then reported to his Commander the next morning.
"Dey is tree main groups involve in dis rooster Fightin", he began.
"Good work! Who are they?" the Commander asked.
Boudreaux replied confidently, "De Texas Aggies, de local Cajuns, and de Mafia from N'awlins".
Puzzled, the Commander asked, "Now Boudreaux, how did you find all that out in one night?"
"Well," he replied, "I went down and done seen dat rooster fight in person. And I knowed immedjiately dat dem Aggies was involved when a Duck was entered in the fight."
The Commander nodded, "I'll buy that. But what about the others?"
Boudreaux nodded knowingly, "Well, I knowed de Cajuns was involved when sum_body bet on de duck!"
"Ah, I see, I see....." sighed the sergeant, "And how did you figure the Mafia was involved?"
"De duck won.”
Texan Answer to Welfare
There are people who genuinely are totally unable to work & need government assistance. This isn’t for them. This is for those I recently heard called "government handout addicts." From: Waco Tribune Herald, Waco , TX
Put me in charge of :
FOOD STAMPS. Get rid of Lone Star cards; no cash
for Ding Dongs or Ho Ho's, just money for 50-pound bags of rice, beans, cheese & all the powdered milk you can haul away. If you want steak & frozen pizza, then get a job.
MEDICAID. Get women birth control & men condoms (for free). Test
recipients for drugs, alcohol, & nicotine, document all tattoos &
piercings. If you want to reproduce or use drugs, alcohol, smoke or get tats and piercings, then get a job.
GOVERNMENT HOUSING. Ever live in military barracks?
You will maintain our property in a clean and good state of repair. Your “home" will be subject to inspections anytime and possessions will be inventoried. If you want a plasma TV or Xbox 360, then get a job and your own place.
Either present a check stub from a job weekly or
report to a "government" job. It may be cleaning the roadways of
trash, painting & repairing public housing, whatever we find for you.. We will sell your 22 inch rims & low profile tires, your blasting stereo & speakers and put that money toward the common good.
Realize that all of this is voluntary. If you want our money, accept our rules... Before you say this would be "demeaning" and ruin "self esteem," consider that taking someone else's money for doing absolutely nothing is demeaning and lowers self esteem.
If we are expected to pay for other people's mistakes we should at least attempt to make them learn from their bad choices, instead of rewarding them for continuing to make bad choices.
AND while on Govt subsistence, you no longer can VOTE! Yes that
is correct. It would be a conflict of interest. You will voluntarily remove yourself from voting while you are receiving a Govt welfare check. If you want to vote, then get a job.
