Opa!

Last night we went to see "Inception".  I have to admit that I was intrigued by the story, impressed by the special effects and the acting and the dialog.  Even the sound was of exceptional quality.  My only reservation is with the complexity of the script and being able to follow what and where the cast is and what they are doing and why.  I didn't understand the need for the final cliffhanger, though.  I definitely qualify the movie for awards consideration.

We went to the Greek Festival at Oak Park today and had our yearly gyro and baklava.  The food was great, as was the music.  No comment on the dancers.  Another year where they didn't serve Mythos beer. Mythos beer is a memory from our trip to Greece almost ten years ago.  It is unusual to see it anyplace that we've been in the states or Canada.

A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is
working, and asks him, "Daddy, what's sex?"

Caught off guard, and shaken at his innocent little girl asking
such a question, he starts babbling about the birds and the
bees.

Then he looks at her bewildered expression and decides the best
option is to tell her the truth. He sits her down, and tells her
about conception, sperms and eggs. He goes on to tell her about
puberty, menstruation and he thinks, 'what the hell,' and goes on
to tell her the works. He tells her about orgasms, masturbation,
and even shows her a picture of a penis and vagina.

He covers a wide and varied assortment of sub-topics and by the
time he's finished, his daughter is somewhat awestruck with this
sudden influx of bizarre new knowledge.

Her father finally asks, "So what did you want to know about sex
for?"

"Oh, mommy said to tell you lunch would be ready in a couple of
secs..."

Italians
To all my Italian friends, and a few who are not - enjoy! ...and if you're from Brooklyn , New Joisey, or LonggggEyeland, you'll really appreciate this!

E y e -T a l i a n

Why do Italians hate Jehovah's Witnesses?
Because Italians hate all witnesses.

Do you know why most men from Italy are named Tony?
On the boat over to America they put a sticker on them that said
TO NY

You know you're Italian when . . . .You can bench press 325 pounds,
shave twice a day and still cry when your mother yells at you.

You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit two cappicola sandwiches, 4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular lunch bag.

Your 20 mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant, travel agent and lawyers are all your cousins.

You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or on the same block. All five of those cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother.

You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.

You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.

If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 9",
it is presumed his Mother had an affair.

There were more than 28 people in your bridal party.

You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.

And you REALLY, REALLY know you're Italian when . . . .

Your grandfather had a fig tree.

You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00.

Christmas Eve . . . only fish.

Your mom's meatballs are the best.

You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you.

Clear plastic covers on all the furniture.

You know how to pronounce "manicotti" and "mozzarella."

You fight over whether it's called "sauce" or "gravy."

You've heard someone called a "mamaluke."

And you understand "bada bing."

Redneck on the road

This guy is walking along a dirt road when he stubbles upon an redneck lying on the ground with his ear in the dirt.


"Are you alright? What are you doing?" the man asks but gets no answer at all.

The redneck doesn't even acknowledge that he is there.

So after a while of silence the man asks again, "Can I help you sir?"

The redneck replies this time. "Ford pick-up truck, blue, 18 inch rims, two passengers, female driver."

"Wow! You can tell all that by listening to the ground!" the man says.

"NO" The redneck replies with a shocked look on his face "The bitch ran over me 10 minutes ago!"