Impersonal as it has become, working with a caring and friendly recruiter is definitely better than navigating the iceberg channels of HRdom. I now have someone to talk to, provide guidance and smack me with the reality that only 2% of applicants ever get the job they apply for. So basically, I am covered no matter what happens.
She has had me add meat to the bones of my stripped down resume. It originally approached four pages and was stripped to one and a half. Now it is fluffed out to two full pages and "speaks volumes" about me. [I hope that is good...]. She has also provided me with the information that I need to ace the phone interview that we managed to wangle with the expanded resume. It is coming up tomorrow, and I am a bit nervous as the position is a stretch [not on my capabilities, though] into the medical device arena. My background is about 99% military, space and defense related. It is a big jump, especially into the FDA approval arena.
I have been very careful to be truthful in my resume and only emphasize the shining examples of my career. Fortunately, every piece of straw I have worked with has turned to gold, well at least silver...
Drill Instructor
A drill instructor was yelling at a new recruit.
He was all up in this guy's face, their noses less than an inch apart.
He screamed at the recruit, "You hate me don't you?!?"
The recruit responded as calmly as possible, "Sir, no sir."
The instructor yelled back, "You're going to unrinate on my grave if you outlive me, aren't you?!?"
The recruit retorted, "Sir, no way. When I get out of the service, I will not wait in line for anything! Sir."
Road Rage
A man noticed he was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. Not wanting to let the crazed woman push him, he stopped at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by flooring it.
The tailgating woman slammed on her brakes, then her horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection with him. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer.
The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a cell. After a couple of hours, the jailer approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.
"I'm sorry for this mistake," he says. "You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping the guy off in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Follow Me to Sunday School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk."
"Yeah, so?" she says.
"Naturally," he concluded, "I assumed you had stolen the car."
Military Medical Clinic
During a visit to a military medical clinic, I was sent to the lab to have blood drawn. The technician there was friendly and mentioned that his mood improved every day because he was due to leave the service in two months. As he applied the tourniquet on my arm, he told me that taking the blood wouldn't hurt much. Then, noticing my Air Force T-shirt, he asked me what my husband did.
When I replied that he was a recruiter, the technician smiled slyly and said, "This might hurt a little more than I thought."
