I remember when it was fun to go to the Pizza Time Theater and watch old movies while we ate. Somehow, that has lost its charm when you do the same at home.
As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the copilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system.
"Coming up on the right, you can see the Meteor Crater, which is a major tourist attraction in northern Arizona. It was formed when a lump of nickel and iron, roughly 150 feet in diameter and weighing 300,000 tons, struck the earth at about 40,000 miles an hour, scattering white-hot debris for miles in every direction.
The hole measures nearly a mile across and is 570 feet deep."
From the cabin, a blonde passenger was heard to exclaim,
"Wow! It just missed the highway!"
A blind man was standing on the corner with his dog when the dog raised his leg and wet on the man's trouser leg.
The man reached in his pocket and took out a doggie biscuit.
A busybody who had been watching ran up to him and said, "You shouldn't do that. He'll never learn anything if you reward him when he does something like that!".
The blind man retorted, "I'm not rewarding him. I'm just trying to find his mouth so that I can kick him in the ass"!
Men "Defined"
1 He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY." 2. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
3. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
4. .He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."
5. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."
6. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
7. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
8. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
9. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
10. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE."
