Blurred Luck

The week escaped through my mind like melted snow through my fingers.  In other words, the end of the week was there after a short (very short) blur.  During that time, while we were glued to the news of Dorner's follies, and the haphazard approach to his capture, the feces covered Carnival cruise ship, and the exploding meteorite over Russia, time in my microcosm marched on at a feverish pace.  Income taxes loom, as well as storm damages and more storms coming. I'm trying desperately to figure out how I can invest in several assault rifles (for investment purposes only) while being cash strapped by $4.00 plus gasoline prices, paying for college tuition and just my ever-growing living expenses.  Gold is going down in value while ammunition rises.  What a world we have created. Soon I will be caught up in the Oscar craze, until that is over with.  
I should be (and really I am) thankful for my own health and my family's continued good health.  So far, without the aid(?) of a flu-shot, we have managed to dodge the bullet.  I am probably driving my family nuts as I become germophobic.  At least I can revel in the success of one of my fanaticisms paying off.  I hope the rest of you have been that lucky.  Speaking of which; apparently I have used up all the luck I'm going to get without winning the Publisher's Clearing House prize, the HGTV House Giveaway or the lottery.  Clearly my priorities are swayed...

Remote Control
The clerk asked me, "Cash, check or charge?" after ringing up my purchase.

As I fumbled through my wallet, she noticed a remote control for a television set in my purse.

"Do you always carry your TV remote?" she asked.

"No," I replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him!"

Road Crew
The road by my house was in bad condition. Every day I dodged potholes on the way to work, so I was relieved to see a construction crew working on the road one morning.

Later, on my way home, I noticed the men were gone and no improvement in the road. But where the crew had been working stood a new, bright-yellow sign with the words "Rough Road."

Family Business
A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I am making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations."

The son-in-law interrupted. "I hate factories. I can't stand the noise." "I see," replied the father-in-law.

"Well then you'll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations."

"I hate office work," said the son-on-law. "I can't stand being stuck behind a desk all day."

"Wait a minute," said the father-in-law. "I just made you a half-owner of a profitable corporation, but you don't like factories and won't work in a office. What am I going to do with you?"

"Easy," said the young man. "Buy me out."