Have you ever wondered what happened to "change" ? Has it already happened and I missed it. Did it change and change back, and I missed that too ? Is it still going to change ? Or most importantly, is "change" really not changing ?
I'm really looking forward to getting out of here for a few days. Even Atlanta is sounding good. We've been researching Savannah and Charleston so that we can play tourist there too. I am amazed at how much there is to see there, especially the haunted tours. I asked my wife if she wanted to stay in a haunted bed & breakfast, but all I got was a glare and "No!".
Went for a walk tonight with Max on More Mesa. It was a pretty special night, with a cool breeze and beautiful views of the ocean and mountains. Most strange is that close to the end of the walk, we passed some stables and corrals. There were literally hundreds of crows sitting almost evenly spaced on the corral fence and on the ground! Hundreds of them. When Max went by, be began to charge them and there was a large cacophonous black cloud of wing-flapping birds all taking off at the same time. I was going to say a "murder" of crows, since that is the correct term to use for flock, but there were so many crows, I'm sure one murder wasn't enough to describe them. I'd say is was a massacre of crows!
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.
She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had. He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"
He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I'll tell you... the guy I loaned my costume to, sure had a real good time!"
A Bloke limped into Kelly's bar, heavily bandaged and on crutches.
"Bejabers Murphy an' what's happened to yourself?" asked Kelly.
"T'was Tim O"Houlighan" answered Murphy.
"But he's just a slip of a fella. Did he have something in his hand?" asked Kelly.
"Shure he did, an' 'twas a shovel"
"Not a good thing at all, at all "Did ye be chance have something in yer own hand, Murphy?"
"Aye, that I did. 'Twas Mrs O'Houlighan's left tit. A rare beautiful thing in itself, but no good at all for the fightin'.
The Laws of Golf
LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, you should have
inner peace knowing that a shittier one is yet to come. (This law
does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural
tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and,
eventually, a lifetime.)
LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed almost
immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the
latter increases with the number of people you tell about the
former.
LAW 3: Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. (Though this
cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more
expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water.
Expensive clubs have been known to be partly made with this most
unusual natural alloy.)
LAW 4: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If
one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should
be cut down.
LAW 5: No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his
playing partners must solemnly chant "You looked up," or invoke
the wrath of the universe.
LAW 6: The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified he
deems himself as an instructor.(Funny how this law also applies
to men who have no sex and advice on picking up women.)
LAW 7: Every par-three hole in the world has a secret desire to
humiliate golfers. The shorter the hole, the greater its desire.
(Funny how this law applies to women.)
LAW 8: Topping a 3-iron is the most painful torture known to man.
LAW 9: Palm trees eat golf balls.
LAW 10: Sand is alive. It will swallow your balls.
LAW 11: Golf carts always run out of juice at the farthest point
from the clubhouse.
LAW 12: A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger
than anyone in your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit
into will consist of a football player, a professional wrestler,
a convicted murderer and an IRS agent -- or some similar
combination.
LAW 13: All 3-woods are demon-possessed. (Your Mother in Law,
does not come close.)
LAW 14: Golf balls from the same "sleeve" tend to follow one
another, particularly out of bounds or into the water (See Law
three).
LAW 15: A severe slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty.
LAW 16: "Nice lag" can usually be translated to "lousy putt."
Similarly, "tough break" can usually be translated "way to miss
an easy one, asshole."
LAW 17: The person you would most hate to lose to will always be
the one who beats you.
LAW 18: The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust
your score to what it really should be.
LAW 19: Golf should be given up at least twice per month.
LAW 20: All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until
the sunset.
