Two Jewish guys, Goldman and Hirschberg are talking one morning.
"I h-h-h-have a j-j-j-job inter-r-r-veiw t-t-t-today," says
Goldman.
"Really? What kind of job?" asks Hirschberg.
"I'm au-au-au-audition-n-n-ning to b-b-b-e an anoun-n-n-ncer
a-a-a-a-t a r-r-r-radio st-st-st-station," stammers Goldman
"I hope it goes well," replies Hirschberg.
Later that day they meet again. Hirschberg asks,
"How did your interview go?"
"N-n-n-not g-g-g-g-good, th-th-those r-r-racist ba-ba-bastards
d-d-d-d-don't h-h-h-h-hire j-j-j-j-jews."
Two men are walking their dogs (a doberman and a chihuahua) when they say to each other "I'm thirsty." They see a nearby bar and walk up to it.
Unfortunately, there was a sign on the door that said NO DOGS. They thought for awhile to try to figure out what they should do with no luck. Suddenly, the man with the doberman said, "I have an idea! Do what I do."
The man put on his sunglasses, walked up to the door and tried to get in but a big muscular man stopped him. "Where do you think you're going?" asked the big man. "This is my seeing-eye dog." said the man hoping for good feedback. "Alrighty mister, go right in." said the big man. The doberman man walked in.
The second man slipped his sunglasses on and did the same as the first man. "Where are you going?" asked the big man. "I'm going into the bar, this is my seeing-eye dog." he said. "A chihuahua?" asked the big man with suspicion. The other man, playing his part yelled, "They gave me a chihuahua!?"
It had been a rough day, so when I walked into the party I was
very chalant, despite my efforts to appear gruntled and
consolate.
I was furling my wieldy umbrella for the coat check when I saw
her standing alone in a corner. She was a descript person, a
woman in a state of total array. Her hair was kempt, her clothing
shevelled, and she moved in a gainly way.
I wanted desperately to meet her, but I knew I'd have to make
bones about it since I was travelling cognito. Beknownst to me,
the hostess, whom I could see both hide and hair of, was very
proper, so it would be skin off my nose if anything bad happened.
And even though I had only swerving loyalty to her, my manners
couldn't be peccable. Only toward and heard-of behavior would
do.
Fortunately, the embarrassment that my maculate appearance might
cause was evitable. There were two ways about it, but the
chances that someone as flappable as I would be ept enough to
become persona grata or a sung hero were slim. I was, after all,
something to sneeze at, someone you could easily hold a candle
to, someone who usually aroused bridled passion.
So I decided not to risk it. But then, all at once, for some
apparent reason, she looked in my direction and smiled in a way
that I could make heads or tails of.
I was plussed. It was concerting to see that she was
communicado, and it nerved me that she was interested in a pareil
like me, sight seen. Normally, I had a domitable spirit, but,
being corrigible, I felt capacitated--as if this were something I
was great shakes at-- and forgot that I had succeeded in
situations like this only a told number of times. So, after a
terminable delay, I acted with mitigated gall and made my way
through the ruly crowd with strong givings.
Nevertheless, since this was all new hat to me and I had no time
to prepare a promptu speech, I was petuous. Wanting to make only
called-for remarks, I started talking about the hors d'oeuvres,
trying to abuse her of the notion that I was sipid, and perhaps
even bunk a few myths about myself.
She responded well, and I was mayed that she considered me a
savory character who was up to some good. She told me who she
was. "What a perfect nomer," I said, advertently.
The conversation become more and more choate, and we spoke at
length to much avail. But I was defatigable, so I had to leave
at a godly hour. I asked if she wanted to come with me.
To my delight, she was committal. We left the party together and
have been together ever since. I have given her my love, and she
has requited it.
