Here is a paradigm shift for you: It happened to Burroughs and IBM and now to Microsoft. It's consumer brand is dying! We knew that it began operating in the shadows of Google and Apple, but believed that "they were too big to fail"! It's happening! [Couldn't happen to a nicer company!] But of course, they sill have megabucks of cash which they will probably use to buy their way back into goodness.
Kudos to Sears' for their Halloween website- Zombies galore!
Both gubernatorial candidates were asked to remove their negative ads. Jerry Brown agreed, but Meg Whitman refused. She said they are truthful but may not be perceived as so.... Jerry Brown said, please continue using the ad that said that you moved to California thirty years ago because California was the land of opportunity and beautiful. Jerry Brown was the governor then....
Immortality
I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?" He asked, "Well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer/wine?" "Oh no," I replied. "I've never done either." Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?" I said "No, I've heard that all red meat is very unhealthy!" "Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, ballooning, or rock climbing ?" "No, I don't," I said. He said, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or sexually fool around?" "No," I said. "I've never done any of those things." He looked at me and said, "Then why do you give a shit if you live to be 80?" 
Both gubernatorial candidates were asked to remove their negative ads. Jerry Brown agreed, but Meg Whitman refused. She said they are truthful but may not be perceived as so.... Jerry Brown said, please continue using the ad that said that you moved to California thirty years ago because California was the land of opportunity and beautiful. Jerry Brown was the governor then....
Immortality
One liners
What is the definition of innocence? A nun working in a condom factory thinking she's making sleeping bags for mice.
What do you call a nun who walks in her sleep?
A roaming catholic.
What do you call a nun with a sex change operation?
A tran-sister.
What's black and white and red and has trouble getting through a revolving door?
A nun with a spear through her head!
It was Halloween and three vampires went into a saloon and walked up to the bar. "What will you have?" the bartender asked.
"I'll have a glass of blood," the first replied.
"I'll have a glass of blood, too, please," said the second.
"I'll have a glass of plasma," said the third.
"Okay, let me get this straight," the bartender said. "That'll be two bloods and a blood light?"
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earline got pregnant.
Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earline got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earline didn't get pregnant again." Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?" Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Earline with me."
