We saw Crazy Heart and Pirate Radio over the weekend. I liked Crazy Heart and thought that Jeff Bridges was perfectly cast for the part. We could see why he won Best Actor. Pirate Radio, on the other hand, while filled with great music, lack plot depth and a complete story. It is a shame, really.
Dog Pet Peeves
1. When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping.
2. Blaming your farts on me... not funny.
3. Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG YOU IDIOT!!
4. How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over everything while you're gone. (Have you noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little like cat?)
5. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
6. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose... stop it.
7. Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your carpet. Why'd you buy carpet?
8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.
10. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed my fur?
11. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
12. When you insist on picking up the piles in the yard. Do you realize how far behind schedule that puts me?
13. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back there.
14. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
15. Invisible fences. Why do you insist on screwing with us?
10 Husbands, Still a Virgin A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
New Women's Study
There is a new study out about women. I thought these results were pretty interesting.
85% of women think their ass has grown too big since getting married..
10% of women think their ass is just as big as it was when they got married..
The other 5% say that they don't care, they love him and would have married him anyway.
