women's orgasms much more intense. Apparently, the cream works
best when applied by Brad Pitt.''
- Conan O'Brien
Two archeologists, exploring a remote mountain in Tibet came
across a huge granite statue which resembled a sitting man. It
stood almost 400 foot tall, and its bodily details were accurate
down to the fingernails and teeth.
"It looks real enough to talk," says one.
"Lets try," says the other and turning to the statue he asks it
its name.
No answer.
"How old are you?"
No answer.
Finally. one shouts out, "What is the square root of 64?"
Suddenly, the mountain shakes as the giant statue rises onto its
feet and puts its hand on its chin. Then after about ten seconds,
the statue answers in a roaring voice, "Eight."
"Of course!" says the scientist, "... It only stands to reason."
across a huge granite statue which resembled a sitting man. It
stood almost 400 foot tall, and its bodily details were accurate
down to the fingernails and teeth.
"It looks real enough to talk," says one.
"Lets try," says the other and turning to the statue he asks it
its name.
No answer.
"How old are you?"
No answer.
Finally. one shouts out, "What is the square root of 64?"
Suddenly, the mountain shakes as the giant statue rises onto its
feet and puts its hand on its chin. Then after about ten seconds,
the statue answers in a roaring voice, "Eight."
"Of course!" says the scientist, "... It only stands to reason."
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which
reads:
Cheese Sandwich: = $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: = $2.50
Hand Job: = $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the
bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive
blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.
"Yes?" she enquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"
"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives
the hand-jobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "indeed I am"
The man replies, "Well wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!
Enough funnies for one day...I have half the day off from work !!
