New Orleans now has low-octane shrimp for sale....
Why is it that many people that own hybrid cars have a holier-than-thou attitude. Are they ignorant enough to believe that they are providing a benefit to the world by using less gasoline in their car ? Don't they realize that the electricity that is generated to charge their plug-in was more than likely generated by burning coal- which is at least as bad than the extra gasoline. Worse than that, though, may be the plans for disposing of the exhausted batteries when that time comes. Those of you that saw "Slumdog Millionaire" know what happens to our recycled electronics (they end up in India). Maybe owning an electric or hybrid car is just a "feelgood" measure in a time where they are far-and-few between.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground...
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy..
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional...
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions...
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus..
4) You look like Santa Claus.
The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections
from all the private businesses that they were 'protecting'.
Feeling the heat from the police force, they decide to use a deaf
person for this job: if he were to get caught, he wouldn't be
able to communicate to the police what he was doing.
Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picks up over $40,
000. He gets greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it in
a safe place. The Mafia soon realizes that their collection is
late, and sends some of their hoods after the deaf collector. The
hoods find the deaf collector and ask him where the money is. The
deaf collector can't communicate with them, so the Mafia drags
the guy to a sign language interpreter.
The Mafia hood says to the interpreter, "Ask him whereda money
is."
The interpreter signs, "Where's - the - money?"
The deaf man signs back, "I - don't - know - what - you're - talking - about."
The interpreter tells the hood, "He says he doesn't know what
you're talking about".
The hood pulls out a .38 and places it in the ear of the deaf collector. "NOW ask him where the money is."
The interpreter signs, "Where - is - the - money?"
The deaf man signs back, "The - $40,000 - is - hidden - in - a - tree - stump - in - my - back- yard."
The interpreter says to the hood, "He says he still doesn't know what you're talking about, and he doesn't think you have the guts to pull the trigger."
According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed.
The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated:
Wash. Biol. Surv.
Until the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper:
"Dear Sirs:
While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you it was horrible."
The bands are now marked Fish and Wildlife Service.
