My exhaustion has generated many daydreams about possible vacations. Currently we are gearing up to get my daughter back to school for her final year. I hope that we can finally get some well earned rest once that happens.
Fortunately/unfortunately we are really busy at work. I quote a famous boss as saying that there isn't really a great time to be gone on vacation. I see that the time between now and the end of the year as being even more busy than usual. While the unemployment rate is still high, my company is hiring scads of new people. It is retirement season, and most of them are replacements. With this, of course, comes new ways to do things brought to us from other companies or campuses where the new hires came from. Those of us that adjust will have the easiest time of it...
"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the fuck happened!"
When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink.
I was not so pleased. I turned to mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?"
Mom smiled and then replied, "OH YES! I do remember."
Excited About Marriage
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:
'Are you the owner?' The pharmacist answers yes.
Says Jacob: 'We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?'
Pharmacist: 'Of course we do.'
Jacob: 'How about medicine for circulation?'Pharmacist: 'All kinds.'
Jacob: 'Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis? '
Pharmacist: 'Definitely.'
Jacob: 'How about Viagra?'
Pharmacist: 'Of course.'
Jacob: 'Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?'
Pharmacist: 'Yes, a large variety. The works.'
Jacob: 'What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?'
Pharmacist: 'Absolutely.'
Jacob: 'You sell wheelchairs and walkers?'
Pharmacist: 'All speeds and sizes.'
Jacob says to the pharmacist: 'We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts, please.'
Things You'll Never Hear In A Western Movie ....
"Guns? We don't need no stinking guns!"
"Hey, Buck, do these chaps make my ass look big?"
"Injuns! Quick, pull the wagons into an irregular dodecagon!"
"Let's see ... hardtack and pemmican ... that's three grams of
fat, seven grams of protein, and two starches."
"Gentlemen, rather than get caught up in mindless reaction, let's
draw upon our feminine selves for a more intuitive solution."
"Can we postpone this duel till 12:05? I gotta use the little
boys' room."
"It's like I keep tellin' ya, Earl: men is from Tombstone, women
is from Dodge."
"HANG HIM HIGH, BOYS!! ...Okay, now a little to the left...
Oooh! Stop right there. Perfect!"
"That's him! That's the yella-bellied varmint who shot my
therapist!"
"Y'know, Badlands Pete... a roaring campfire, good coffee, nice
prairie breeze, just you 'n' me ... what say we put on the
rhinestone gowns and dance a jig or two?"
"I reckon I'll have me a half-caf double latte with a twist. IN A
DIRTY MUG!"
You 'n' Slim round up them strays, and I'll tell Cookie to get
started on the gazpacho and the fondue."
"He was a strong man, a good marshal, and I reckon he had a keen
eye for interior decoration."
A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a new litter of kittens.
On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, "There were two boy kittens and two girl kittens."
"How did you know that?" his mother asked.
"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom."
