Not much news to share, except how much I continue to dislike the holiday season for what it has become. It is way too commercial and geared towards spending. Very little effort is put into the true meaning of Christmas, anymore.
Black Friday, green Friday.. whatever color you call it is just a guilt-ridden invitation to go into debt to take advantage of sales. Gotta have this, gotta have that. Let's put our Christmas stuff out before Halloween... Why not leave it out all year around? This is a short buying/selling season this year, so things are worse than usual... much worse.
It all gets back to my original desire to return to simpler times. You could leave your front door unlocked, trust your neighbors, teachers and Priests. Nobody wanted to hurt anybody else. Everyone worked towards the greater good.
There were no homeless, because neighbors would take them in. There were no complaints about displaying the Ten Commandments or the Star of David. People worshiped however they wished.
I think those days are gone, and so are the places where that could exist. Too bad.
Air New Zealand
A mother and her 5-year-old son were flying Air New Zealand from Auckland to Sydney.
The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The mother, who couldn't think of an answer, told her son to ask the flight attendant.
So the little guy walks up to the galley and asks the flight attendant, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The flight attendant responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?"
The boy said, "Yes, she did."
"Well, then, please tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Air New Zealand always pulls out on time. Ask her to explain that to you."
Her Facelift
A woman decides to have a facelift for her birthday. She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home she stops at a newsstand to buy a paper. Before leaving, she asks the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," the clerk replies.
"I turned 47 yesterday," the woman says happily, and then moves to her next stop.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and, upon getting her order, asks the counter girl the same question. She replies, "I'd guess about 29." The woman replies, "Nope, I turned 47 yesterday!" Now she is feeling really good about herself.
While waiting for the bus home, she asks an old man the same question. He replies, "I'm 78 and my eyesight is starting to go. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell exactly how old a woman was, but it requires you to let me put my hands up your shirt and feel your breasts."
They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of the woman and she finally says, "What the heck, go ahead." The old man slips both hands up her shirt, under her bra, and begins to feel around. After a couple of minutes she says, "OK already: how old am I?"
He removes his hands and says, "You are 47 years and one day old."
"That is amazing!" the stunned the woman says. "How did you know?"
The old man replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
In a small Southern town
there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered
me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets.
Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a "Quick Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You Yankees never do read the Bible!" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible.
She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said, "See, it says right here, 'The three wise man came from afar.'"
