I saw that Apple announced that they will be releasing a multi-tasking OS for the iPhone at summer. I'm not so sure that I understand why that make such a difference, especially since they will be Verizon's CDMA system soon- where it won't matter. I guess they have to compete advertising with Android...
I have always regarded Friday as a catch-up day, but lately all the days seem the same.
A blonde was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a
lawsuit. The prosecutor opened his questioning with, "Where were
you the night of August 24th?"
"Objection!" said the defense attorney. "Irrelevant!"
"Oh, that's okay," said the blonde from the witness stand. "I
don't mind answering the question."
"I object!" the defense said again.
"No, really," said the blonde. "I'll answer."
The judge ruled: "If the witness insists on answering, there is
no reason for the defense to object."
So the prosecutor repeated the question: "Where were you the
night of August 24th?"
The blonde replied brightly, "I don't know."
*The Italian Secret of a Long Marriage*
At Saint Mary's Catholic Church they have a weekly husband's
marriage seminar. At the session last week, the Priest asked
Luigi, who was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a
few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay
married to the same woman all these years.
Luigi replied to the assembled husbands, "Well, I've a-tried to
treat-a her nice, spend the money on her, but best of all is that I
took-a her to Italy for the 20th anniversary!"
The Priest responded, "Luigi, you are an amazing inspiration to
all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for
your wife for your 50th anniversary."
Luigi proudly replied, "I'm a-gonna go and get her."
A store that sells new husbands has opened in Manchester , just off Deansgate where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework...
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor.. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street with the same rules.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
