The story about credit cards going away like vinyl records stirred up a lot of controversy about the safety issues of smart phones. How smart are we going to allow them to be? How much purchase-preference data are we going to allow them to report to God-knows-who on the web? How will the buyer prove to the phone that it is okay to use the credit account? How can the buyer use the smart phone to purchase where he cannot get cell coverage? How about a purchase where you cannot have smart phones powered up ? What happens when I lose my smart phone? How do I get my account back? What about if you don't have a smart phone, or wish one, or can't afford one?
There is currently a class action suit against Taco Bell claiming that their taco meat isn't enough beef to call beef. What else is in the taco meat? Is it some other kind of meat? Is it soy? Is it melamine? It is time that the FDA cracks down on all food and drug manufacturers. If they call it beef, I would (as a consumer) expect it to be 100% beef. If they called them "meat" tacos rather than "beef tacos", then the door would be open for them to include unspecified meats other than beef. Remember when Jack In The Box was serving Kangaroo without informing the public. For God's sake, isn't there enough profit in fast food already without cheating on the most basic part of the food.
Tips for Rednecks...
Dining Out
When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers
covering the label.
Entertaining In Your Home A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners are.
Personal Hygiene While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.
Dating (Outside the Family) Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years
ago." Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; Others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.
Theater Etiquette Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.
Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.
Weddings
Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift. Kissing the bride for longer than 5 seconds can get you shot. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.
Driving Etiquette Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to
ask her to bring back beer. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.
Tips For All Occasions Never take a beer to a job interview. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home
