Seven hours of software deployment on thirty test stations is enough to make you pull your hair out. Three of us rotate though the stations, first uninstalling old software and then installing new and then checking the the other person did it all correctly. This, of course, is done with a static safe lab coat and safety glasses. That makes me "six eyes", and most probably what gives me a headache.
Well I have to admit, the whole McChrystal affair was definitely handled correctly. One cannot sass your leader, even if he hadn't served in the military. What I don't understand is why anyone allows embedded reporters or why a magazine is allowed to publish an interview without the interviewee's approval first. This episode should be a learning experience for anyone else in the military or politics. For sure, you don't say anything or email anything that you wouldn't want published worldwide.
"The long term implications of drugs/procedures must be fully considered: "Because over the past few years, more money has been spent on breast implants and Viagra than is spent on Alzheimer's Disease research, it is believed that by the year 2030 there will be a large number of people wandering around with huge breasts and erections who can't remember what to do with them"... Here's some more new drugs that may soon be on the market..
St. Mom's Wort ... Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.
Empty Nestrogen ... Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait til they moved out.
Peptobimbo ... Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.
Dumerol ... When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of country western music and WWF wrestling
Flipitor .. Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
Antiboyotics ... When administered to teenage girls is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.
Menicillin ... Potent antibiotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?"
Buyagra ... Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.
Extra Strength Buy-one-all ... When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminant buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.
Jack Asspirin ... Relieves the headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.
Anti-talksident ... A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.
Sexcedrin ... Bedroom aerosol spray for men. More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.
Ragamet ... When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife thetime and trouble of doing it herself.
Men-Gay ... A rub-in ointment that enables single women to identify who to cross off the dating pool.
According to a news report, a certain, private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique problem.
A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lip stick, they would press their lips to the mirror, leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night the maintenance man would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back.,
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian, who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses).,
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
There are teachers ........... and then there are educators
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.
He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in.
"OK, follow me" he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.
Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees.
Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.
"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.
"Yes, Yes, Yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
"Good" said the bat, "Because I sure as hell didn't!"
