Has it ever occurred to anyone that markets no longer have sales? What am I saying, you ask. They put out a large ad every week with their sale items. Let me explain. Ever since we went to the barcode system of pricing, every market has the ability to change any price any time, as easy as editing a database value. This will cause every register to charge that price every time it scans an appropriate barcode. So if the store claims to put ABC product on sale for fifty cents off, it can adjust fifty other prices by a penny to make up for the sale price. More importantly, by mining it's purchase history database, it is very easy to find out that a large percentage of the people that buy ABC, also buy DEF at the same time. Therefore, reduce the price on ABC and raise the price on DEF. More chances than none, the sale price will be easily made up with these price adjustments.
What about coupons, you say? Well, those are subsidized by the manufacturers, so they don't cost the store at all.
So What is the solution to savings at the market? I believe that if you ONLY buy what is on sale, you can make out. If you buy because of impulse or convenience, then you lose. When you buy non-food items in a market, you always lose (versus a discount store or pharmacy).
I still haven't figured out how some items are always significantly cheaper at certain market chains, and how they can get away with that. One good example it a particular band of yougurt that my wife and I really like. Albertson's sells them for $1.89 each, while Von's sells the same exact yogurt at different prices for different flavors, one as cheap as $1.25 and others as high as $1.89. Trader Joe's sells them all for $1.49 and Target, for $1.25. Now, granted, there is an economy of scale involved, but I cannot see how Target would buy more volume than Von's or Albertson's- except they sell more because of the price difference. I'm sure that there are other items that are always significantly more expensive at those stores, to make up the profits. So many games they play, just to get our business... Too bad there is a neighborhood HONEST grocer available....
Why I call him honey
An elderly lady was invited to an old friend’s home for dinner one evening. She was impressed by the way her lady friend preceded every request to her husband with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love. While the husband was in the living room, her lady friend leaned over to her hostess to say, 'I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your husband all those loving names.'
The elderly lady hung her head, 'I have to tell you the truth,' she said, 'his name slipped my mind about 10 years ago, and I'm scared to death to ask the cranky old asshole what his name is.'
Stuff you didn't know you didn't know
Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
Coca-Cola was originally green.
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)
The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $ 16,400
The average number of people airborne over the U...S. In any given hour: 61,000
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
The first novel ever written on a typewriter, Tom Sawyer.
The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321
Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace
Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?
A. Obsession
Q.. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter 'A'?
A. One thousand
Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers have in common?
A. All were invented by women.
Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey
Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?
A. Father's Day
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase...'Goodnight , sleep tight'
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.'
It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'
Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill , they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your whistle' is the phrase inspired by this practice.
At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2012 when...
1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.
~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.
Go lick your elbow.
