The man answers, "why yes, I saw this man with a Corvette by the side of the road, and he was yelling at his wife, and threatening her, so I walked up to him and screamed at him to leave her alone, and if he didn't I'd kick his head like this.... and I kicked a huge place on his driver's door on that Corvette".
Saint Peter answers, "Wow, that's pretty good, when did you do that?"
The man answers, "Oh, about 4 minutes ago".
The former kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to
first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher
insisted on no baby talk.
"You need to use `big people' words," she'd always remind them.
She then asked Wendy what she had done over the weekend.
"I went to visit my Nana."
"No, you went to visit your Grandmother. Use big people words."
She then asked Joey what he had done.
"I took a ride on a choo-choo," he said.
"No, you took a ride on a Train. Use big people words."
She then asked Eddie what he had done.
"I read a book," he replied.
"That's wonderful," the teacher said. "What book did you read?"
Eddie thought about it, then puffed out his chest with great
pride and said,
"Winnie The Shit."
Iguanas Go Into Hibernation State In Cold Weather
POSTED: Wednesday, January 6, 2010
UPDATED: 3:10 pm EST January 6, 2010
HOLLYWOOD, Fla. -- Record lows across South Florida are literally freezing the invasive iguana in its tracks.Kamikaze iguanas, plummeting from their treetop perches, have long been a Floridian urban legend. On Wednesday morning, Local 10 caught the free-falling lizard on tape.Kamikaze Iguanas
Scientists said these seemingly suicidal lizards are a result of South Florida's record cold weather. Iguanas prefer temperatures in the 80s and 90s. With Wednesday morning's temperatures at around 35 degrees, a handful of lifeless lizards hung from branches and fell to the ground.
While these iguanas appeared dead, experts said they are not. When temperatures drop below 40 degrees, iguanas go into a type of hibernation in which their bodies essentially turn off, only allowing the heart to pump blood. When the temperature rises above 40 degrees again, the iguanas are revived."It's almost like they go totally to sleep. Generally speaking, if it warms up afterwards, they can recover," said Ron Magill of Miami Metrozoo.According to Magill, the nonnative lizard was first introduced to Florida by careless pet owners and has become one of the state's most invasive species. While Florida has similar weather to the iguanas' native home of South America, it is clearly not identical.Magill expects most of the iguanas to survive. While the lizards' comatose state provides a perfect opportunity to reign in the invasive species, Magill had a warning."I knew of a gentleman who was collecting them off the street and throwing them in the back of his station wagon, and all of a sudden these things are coming alive, crawling on his back and almost caused a wreck," Magill said.
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