I often wondered whether there would ever be a time where opinions are OBE (overcome by events). This week has been pretty quiet, news-wise. I haven't been passionate about any of the topics. I actually find it pretty amazing in itself. Wouldn't it be cool to continue this way for a few months- kind of just slide through them without any bumps? SOSDD...
Who's In Charge
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who should be the one in charge.
"I should be in charge," said the brain, "because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen".
"I should be in charge," said the blood, "because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach," because I process food and give all of you energy."
"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."
"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "because I allow the body to see where it goes."
"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic.
They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.
The Moral of the story?
The asshole is usually in charge.
Don’t you find it funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF? -Unknown
After nearly 48 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn't done in quite some time. It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down over her breasts, stopping just over her lower stomach. He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of her breast again, working down her side, passed gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent. As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, "Honey, that was wonderful. Why did you stop?" I found the remote," he mumbled.
Health care update:
WASHINGTON—In the event the Supreme Court
strikes down the president's health care law, the Obama administration
has prepared a contingency plan under which all 313 million Americans
would share a single large jar of ointment, sources confirmed Tuesday.
"We are committed to protecting the health of the American people, and
while it's not a perfect solution, allowing citizens to scoop up
fistfuls of ointment from a giant communal jar would at least guarantee a
certain minimal level of care," said Health and Human Services
Secretary Kathleen Sebelius, stating that the 96,000-pound container of
topical rub would be located in the middle of the country and that, in
some cases, citizens might have to travel 1,300 miles to have access to
the salve. "I will say there is only a limited amount of ointment, and
those citizens who are gravely ill and lack medical insurance will get
first dibs at the soothing unguent." At press time, top Republicans had
already blasted the so-called “Ointmentcare” plan, arguing that the use
of taxpayer funds to salve the careless and negligent violated the
rights of those who had responsibly obtained their own private stashes
of calamine lotion, Icy Hot, and Preparation H.
No comments:
Post a Comment