Tomorrow I get to experience (once again) what all us guys over fifty relish most of all. Dave Barry described it best. None of us want to get colon cancer, so we allow a doctor to insert seventeen thousand (an exaggeration, of course) feet of cable with a camera on the end. It is a necessary evil to prevent a much worse one... I highly recommend it. Be sure not to miss Dave Barry's version.
Doctors convene.
The American Medical Association has weighed in on Obama's new health
care package. The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the
Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The
Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the
Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve. Meanwhile,
Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception,
while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.
Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said,
"Oh, grow up!" The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness,
while the Radiologists could see right through it. Surgeons decided to
wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed it would
indeed be a bitter pill to swallow. The Plastic Surgeons opined that
this proposal would "put a whole new face on the matter". The
Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were
pissed off at the whole idea. Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea
was a gas, and those lofty Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say
no. In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision
up to the assholes in Washington . 
A conversation in heaven
SYLVIA:
Hi! Wanda.
WANDA:
Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die?
SYLVIA:
I froze to death.
WANDA:
How horrible!
SYLVIA:
It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
WANDA:
I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
SYLVIA:
So, what happened?
WANDA:
I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
SYLVIA:
Too bad you didn't look in the freezer ---we'd both still be alive.
An old man goes to answer a knock at the door one evening.... to find two sheriff deputy's standing there.
Sir, are you married?" One deputy asked.
"Why yes," the old man replied "for 48 years."
"Do you have a photograph of your wife, sir?" the second deputy questioned.
The old man pulled a picture out his wallet and handed to the officers. They looked it over and handed it back to him.
"Sir, I'm sorry but it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck."
The old man says, "I know, sir, but she's got a wonderful personality and she's a great cook."
A doctor was awakened by a phone call in the middle
of the night. "Please, you have to come right over," pleaded the
distraught young mother. "My child has swallowed a condom."
The physician dressed quickly; but before he could get out the door, the phone rang again.
"You don't have to come over after all," the woman said with a sigh of relief. "My husband just found another one."
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