Picoftheweek

Picoftheweek
Waaaaaaaay too many to count...

My Statement

"Let me emphatically say that I am not anti-Facebook (Fleecebook), anti-smart phone, anti-Microsoft, anti-Apple, anti-Google or anti-Internet. I do believe, though, that the consumer is being ripped off of his privacy, identity and purchase history. We are being herded into a Facebook corner where what we "Like" and where we go physically and on the net will be scrutinized and sold numerous times to actually corrode and erode our culture while tempting us only with convenience, high tech and flashing video screens. The unsuspecting consumers need to be aware..." - Gary Lapman

Quote of Note

“If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.”-W.C. Fields

"For the strength of the Wolf is in the Pack, and the strength of the Pack is in the Wolf." - Rudyard Kipling

"Common sense is not so common. " -Voltaire

“Fame is vapor, popularity an accident, riches take wing, but only character endures.” - Matthew McConaughey

"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him"

"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason" - Jerry Seinfeld

"Fleecebook is free, you (and your identity) is the product!" - Gary Lapman


"Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we're here for something else besides ourselves." - Eric Sevareid

"'Smart' phones are only smart for the cell phone providers!" - Gary Lapman

"On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." -- Charles Babbage (1791-1871)

“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.” -Albert Einstein

"Technology creates the illusion of companionship without the intimacy of friendship." - unknown

"No worry, there's an app for that..." - Gary Lapman

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Whose Money Is It, Anyway ?

I've never had a problem remembering that the money in my bank accounts is mine.  Unfortunately, I can't say the same for most banks.  They always seem to be doing you a favor to perform any banking function. Their charges are petty and very quickly you feel unappreciated.  This has always been a necessary evil to do business with banks.  We all have out limits, though.  My limit was when my current bank was making a service charge to the third deposit of mine for the month.  This dumbfounded me.  The goal, I say, "THE GOAL" is to put money into the account, so the bank can lend it out and make interest charges on the loan.  Well, not really.  You see, allowing that third deposit must have cost the bank somewhere around 0.0001 cents to process and they decided to pass that cost on to me.  So then, translated, 0.0001 cents of cost to the bank means that they would charge me $15.  That appears to be exorbitant, but it is only a standard and acceptable (?) amount of profit.  So I told them what they could do with their checking, savings, and credit card accounts and moved to a credit union.
There, where each teller and the manager knows me by my first name and greets me as I come in, I feel appreciated.  The fees are minimal and the services are stupendous.  Why would I do business with a bank ever again?
Now that BofA has decided to start charging for debit card use, and some of the other big banks are following suit, the people are rising up to complain.  I believe they are mistaken.  Let the banks overcharge.  Leave the banks, in droves.  They will learn whose money it is in a hurry.  There is NOT ONE SERVICE that they provide that I cannot get elsewhere and be just as happy if not more so.  We should not fret, as the banks will blame the gubmint for all their woes, and we will end up paying to save their collective asses once again...



An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard; I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of.



He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.

An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.

 The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks.



Curious I pinned a note to his collar: 'I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.'


The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: 'He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of  3 - he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?






Kids answers to questions:
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour (brilliant, love this)
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized ( e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula
A: A small lie.

Q: What does varicose mean (I do love this one...)
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term Caesarian Section.
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome

Q: What does the word benign' mean
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
 

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