Cost of Replacement

I went into a few stores today, Staples and Albertson's.  Is it my imagination, or are prices rising dramatically?  Logic would say, if sales are down, then even though fuel costs and shipping are higher, the goods already at the stores shouldn't be going up.  Unfortunately, they do.  Consumers pay REPLACEMENT costs.  SO if a toothbrush it $2.59 and I buy it.  If the markup is 59 cents, then the store pays $2.00 to get a replacement to put on the shelf for sale.  If the cost of replacement goes up, then all the toothbrushes on the shelf go up as well.

Max is not a long dog (you probably guessed that).  It is still so funny though to watch him shake off.  First it is the head and ears, and then moving back like a wave of grain in the wind until it reaches his tail.  You think that was the end of it, but he shakes off all the way to the toes of his rear legs, and sometimes it looks like he shakes them right out from under himself!

If Bill Gates Was From The South

1. They would be called "WindersXP and Winders7".
2. Instead of the hour glass wait icon, you'd get an empty beer bottle.
3. Occasionally you'd open a winder that was covered with a hefty bag and duct tape.
4. Dialog boxes that give you the choice of "Yes, No, or Cancel" would now read "Ahh-right, Naw, or Git".
5. Instead of the "Ta-da" sound when opening Winders, you would now hear the "Dueling Banjos".
6. The "Recycle Bin" in Winders95 would now be called "Out-House".
7. When you open the sound player, you would hear a digitized drunk yelling "Freebird".
8. Powerpoint would now be known as "Parpawnt".
9. Microsoft's programming tolls would be "Vishul Basic" and "Vishul C++".
10. The Winders95 logo would be the Confederate Flag.
11. Instead of the title "VP", Microsoft's big shots would be called "Cuz".
12. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am or a Chevy truck.
13. Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver.
14. "Well, next thing ya know ol' Bill's a billionaire......"
15. Flight Simulator game would be replaced by Tractor Pull Simulator.
16. Microsoft's CEO: Bubba Gates.

YOU'RE A REDNECK IF.........

You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
Last year you hid Easter eggs under cow pies.
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
Jack Daniels makes your list of "Most Admired People."
You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
Anyone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, y'all watch this!"
Your whole family is Democrats except little Mary. She got to readin'.
You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'.
You think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.
Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
You go to your family reunion looking for a date.
You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.
Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
You take a six-pack cooler to church.
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.
The blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
One of your kids was born on a pool table.
You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.
Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart cause there is a law against it.
You dated your daddy's current wife in high school.
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
Your school fight song is "Dueling Banjos".
Your father executes the "pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.
Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
You've been on TV more than five times describing what the tornado sounded like.
You've had to climb to the top of the water tower with a can of spray paint in order to defend your sister's honor.
The sign "say no to crack" reminds you to pull your jeans up.
You prefer to wear the length off your jeans in lieu of hemming them.
Your father walked you to school every day because you were in the same grade.
When the clerk tells you to take a number you have visions of somebody cheating at bingo.
You, just like all the other members of the Rhino Club, still wear your polyester leisure suit.
You've mowed your lawn and found a car.

Growing Up in a Small Town

1. You can name everyone you graduated with.
2. You know what 4-H and FFA are.
3. You went to parties at a pasture, barn, or in the middle of a dirt road.
4. You used to lap "main".
5. You said the "F" word or smoked a cigarette and your parents knew within the hour.
6. You scheduled parties around the schedule of different police officers, since you know which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn't.
7. You could never buy alcohol because all the store clerks knew how old you were (and if you were old enough they'd tell your parents anyhow).
8. When you did find somebody old enough and brave enough to buy alcohol, you still had to go out into the country and drive on back roads to drink it.
9. It was cool to date somebody from the neighboring town.
10. The whole school went to the same party after graduation.
11. You don't give directions by street names, but by references: (Turn by Nelson's house, go 2 blocks east to Anderson's, and its four houses left of the track field).
12. You know everyone's car/truck and are expected to wave when you meet them in the road.
13. You can't help but date a friend's ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.
14. Your car stays filthy because of the dirt roads and you will never own a dark vehicle for this reason.
15. The town next to you is considered "trashy" or "snooty", but is actually just like your town.
16. You refer anyone with a house newer then 1980 as the "rich people".
17. The people in the "big city" dress funny (then you pick up the trend 2 years later).
18. Anyone you want can be found at the local gas station or the town pub or in front of the post office.
19. You see at least one person a week driving a tractor through town or one of your friends drives a grain truck to school occasionally.
20. The gym teacher suggests you haul hay for the summer to get stronger.
21. Directions are given using THE stop light as a reference.
22. You decide to walk somewhere for exercise and 5 people pull over and ask you if you want a ride somewhere.
23. Your teachers call you by your older sibling's names.
24. Your teachers remember when they taught your parents.
25. You can charge at all the local stores or write checks without any ID.
26. The closest McDonalds is 15 miles away (or more).
27. The closest mall is over an hour away and is called simply "THE Mall".
28. It is normal to see an old man riding through town on a riding lawn mower.
29. You are related in one way or another to a large percentage of the town's Population.
30. You laugh your butt off reading this because you know it is all true and you forward it to everyone who lives in your town (because you know them all).